Josh works hard - too hard, actually - and I often put him in a pickle about it. Last weekend when he wasn't working for AGFA, he was working on his sister's house, which she's trying to renovate for renters. He even took Thursday off work to help her. And that's where it gets tricky.
You see, I didn't have a single test to study for all last weekend - yay! But even though I was around more, my husband was not. In fact, I saw less of him than I normally would. I was pretty pissed by the time Sunday rolled around, and I finally told him so. The hard part is I admire how hard he works and how giving he is to others (both extremely attractive qualities to me), but if we're both available on a Friday night, why not spring for a sitter and go out for a change?
Oh right, the money. The pickle.
We spent the majority of our savings on the down-payment for our house. The rest of it has slowly been going to my schooling. We're still waiting for the $8k incentive for first-time home buyers, which we'd expected to have before I paid this semester's tuition. Without that cushion, things have started feeling a little tight, and I found out last week that not only will I need to come up with the $4,800 for next semester's tuition by January, I'll also need to pay for my boards exams at the same time - another $2,000. Throw in books and daycare for the month and we're easily out $7,500 in January. Josh asked if I could hear the sound effects of a toilet flushing in the distance when I told him. No wonder he feels the pressure to work so hard to keep his job.
So to my husband, who presently exists in an impossible situation, and will do so until this program is over: thanks babe. You're one in a million. Let's get a Redbox and eat stir-fry for dinner tonight.
Showing posts with label Josh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Josh. Show all posts
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Is it Christmas already?
Sure seems like it around here right now! For example, what happens when a good amount of snow finally falls?
My husband gets all giddy about being able to use the snowblower he bought for 50 bucks off KSL in the middle of summer.
And suddenly work seems like play for the neighborhood children:
Josh and the snowblower in action!
My husband gets all giddy about being able to use the snowblower he bought for 50 bucks off KSL in the middle of summer.
And suddenly work seems like play for the neighborhood children:
Josh and the snowblower in action!Monday, November 24, 2008
Is it possible...
...for a bad sleeper to become even worse? Grayson slept all through the night from 2-4 months old, but not since (except that one time for our anniversary). And I dare say last night was his
Recap: He didn't fall asleep until almost 10pm. Woke up around 12:30am. I fed him, but instead of falling asleep again, he was WIDE awake. Put him in his crib to play. Wailed like he was on fire for the next 10 minutes. Took him out of crib to settle him down, but he refused comforting. Even me singing Primary songs didn't help, and it usually does. After Josh and I danced around the situation in a similar manner for almost an hour, we finally ended up putting our screaming baby in his crib and ignoring him. We were both so exhausted that we fell asleep despite the noise, and neither of us has any idea how long he cried before passing out, but I know it was at least 8 minutes. He woke up again just after 6am and and was ready for the day. What the??
...for an already wonderful husband to become even better? Josh really stepped up his game the last couple of weeks and I'm in heaven! I just hope the small things I try to do to make his life better make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. Recap: Remember the group presentation we're giving tonight on bankruptcy? Well, the dreamy guest speaker I lined up forgot about parent-teacher conferences (she teaches 5th grade) this week, so is unavailable to come to my class. No worries, because she's awesome and agreed to let me videotape her instead. Well, the 5-10 minute interview ended up being 21 minutes long and I needed to cut it down. Between finding the program to get the video off our camcorder and onto my hard drive for editing, finding a conversion program to make it editable, and finding an editing program that wouldn't drop the audio, he spent about 10 hours over the last two days helping me. Top it all off with the dinner he made us last night plus cleaning up the entire kitchen (including hand washing and drying all of the flatware), and I wonder why he's not yet been translated.
...for me to actually enjoy my Primary class so much I'm going to miss being their teacher next year? I've been teaching Primary for a year now, and I've had this same group of nine 5- and 6-year-olds since January 1. It's hard sometimes. Between 7 and 9 kids come each week, and I've been a solo teacher since my partner got upgraded to the presidency August 3. Which reminds me, I never posted the pic I took of the thank you card we made for her - it was so fun!
Anyway, our annual Primary program was yesterday, and I don't know who was more pleased with my kids - me or their parents. I had eight there, and they all did such a good job with their parts and singing the songs. I teared up twice during the program and again during our lesson when I thanked them all for working so hard and doing so well. They really are such good kids. I get a little sad that I'm only going to be their teacher for five more weeks, but it will be fun to meet some more children in the ward and get to know and love them as well.
...for Christmas to be right around the corner? After this presentation is done tonight and our paper submitted this Saturday, I need to get serious about decorating. I debated putting up a tree, and am going to go ahead with it, but instead of nice glass (and breakable) ornaments, I'm going to ask my nieces and nephews to help me make something like these. It will be fun, it will create precious memories, and Grayson will be able to go to town on the tree without getting put in time out. Win-win-win!
Worst. Night. Ever.
Recap: He didn't fall asleep until almost 10pm. Woke up around 12:30am. I fed him, but instead of falling asleep again, he was WIDE awake. Put him in his crib to play. Wailed like he was on fire for the next 10 minutes. Took him out of crib to settle him down, but he refused comforting. Even me singing Primary songs didn't help, and it usually does. After Josh and I danced around the situation in a similar manner for almost an hour, we finally ended up putting our screaming baby in his crib and ignoring him. We were both so exhausted that we fell asleep despite the noise, and neither of us has any idea how long he cried before passing out, but I know it was at least 8 minutes. He woke up again just after 6am and and was ready for the day. What the??
...for an already wonderful husband to become even better? Josh really stepped up his game the last couple of weeks and I'm in heaven! I just hope the small things I try to do to make his life better make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. Recap: Remember the group presentation we're giving tonight on bankruptcy? Well, the dreamy guest speaker I lined up forgot about parent-teacher conferences (she teaches 5th grade) this week, so is unavailable to come to my class. No worries, because she's awesome and agreed to let me videotape her instead. Well, the 5-10 minute interview ended up being 21 minutes long and I needed to cut it down. Between finding the program to get the video off our camcorder and onto my hard drive for editing, finding a conversion program to make it editable, and finding an editing program that wouldn't drop the audio, he spent about 10 hours over the last two days helping me. Top it all off with the dinner he made us last night plus cleaning up the entire kitchen (including hand washing and drying all of the flatware), and I wonder why he's not yet been translated.
...for me to actually enjoy my Primary class so much I'm going to miss being their teacher next year? I've been teaching Primary for a year now, and I've had this same group of nine 5- and 6-year-olds since January 1. It's hard sometimes. Between 7 and 9 kids come each week, and I've been a solo teacher since my partner got upgraded to the presidency August 3. Which reminds me, I never posted the pic I took of the thank you card we made for her - it was so fun!
Anyway, our annual Primary program was yesterday, and I don't know who was more pleased with my kids - me or their parents. I had eight there, and they all did such a good job with their parts and singing the songs. I teared up twice during the program and again during our lesson when I thanked them all for working so hard and doing so well. They really are such good kids. I get a little sad that I'm only going to be their teacher for five more weeks, but it will be fun to meet some more children in the ward and get to know and love them as well....for Christmas to be right around the corner? After this presentation is done tonight and our paper submitted this Saturday, I need to get serious about decorating. I debated putting up a tree, and am going to go ahead with it, but instead of nice glass (and breakable) ornaments, I'm going to ask my nieces and nephews to help me make something like these. It will be fun, it will create precious memories, and Grayson will be able to go to town on the tree without getting put in time out. Win-win-win!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
My Brother's Keeper (sort of)
Just popping in to say hello. Josh rebuilt my computer and I've finally finished reinstalling all my programs, arranging my files/folders, and personalizing it all back to the way it was. Now I can function in cyberspace again. Yay me!
You may be wondering why Josh rebuilt my computer in the first place. In a nutshell, I accidentally downloaded a virus during a google search for computer programs to lighten videos. Josh spent 3 hours on our anniversary trying to get it cleaned up, but he had to rebuild it in the end. Fortunately, he was able to hook up an external hard drive and backup all my pics so I didn't lose too much in the process. Last week, Maryann was nice enough to let me use her internet to change a bunch of online passwords, pay my fall tuition, and copy the ice cream party pics she took for me, so naturally our babies ended up lying by each other during our visit. Grayson has this habit of reaching out and grabbing whoever happens to be nearby, so he immediately reached over and grabbed Pyper. Maryann snatched up her camera and voila! precious memories formed in an instant.
Oh look, her hand!
This baby is mine.
I'm keeping an eye on her for Dana.
You may be wondering why Josh rebuilt my computer in the first place. In a nutshell, I accidentally downloaded a virus during a google search for computer programs to lighten videos. Josh spent 3 hours on our anniversary trying to get it cleaned up, but he had to rebuild it in the end. Fortunately, he was able to hook up an external hard drive and backup all my pics so I didn't lose too much in the process. Last week, Maryann was nice enough to let me use her internet to change a bunch of online passwords, pay my fall tuition, and copy the ice cream party pics she took for me, so naturally our babies ended up lying by each other during our visit. Grayson has this habit of reaching out and grabbing whoever happens to be nearby, so he immediately reached over and grabbed Pyper. Maryann snatched up her camera and voila! precious memories formed in an instant.
Pyper's too far away, Mom. Please move her closer to me.
Oh look, her hand!
This baby is mine.
I'm keeping an eye on her for Dana.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Cancun recap (finally)
(This post a long one. I'm keeping it that way for posterity's sake. Begin reading at your own risk!)
Woo-hoo! What a great trip! It was so hard leaving Grayson behind (much harder than I thought it would be), but we had a wonderful time recharging in Mexico. The first day was travel and activities with other employees, which only left us two full days to ourselves, but it turned out to be the perfect vacation.
Early Thursday morning we drove up to Don & Holly's to drop Grayson off for our long weekend. You'd think we were going to be gone for months to look at all the things I stuffed into his suitcase, but I wanted to be completely prepared for anything that could happen while we were away. And even though I'd been preparing myself emotionally all week long, I couldn't bear to leave him behind and started crying before I got out the front door. Wouldn't you know I left my pump in the house, though, and had to go back for it? Holly took one look at me and had doubts I was going to be able to leave a second time, I'm such a crybaby now. But somehow I made it out the door yet again and we were off to Salt Lake International.
This is going to disappoint Kory and her Soapbox, but we flew Delta and had an awesome experience doing so. Josh's work ponied up for business class seats on the non-stops between SLC and Cancun and we couldn't have asked for better service! I was simply amazed at how friendly the agents at check-in were. Seriously, they were so nice and good-natured, I wondered if we'd somehow ended up on a Southwest flight instead. The flight attendants cracked jokes with us, and one of them made me a dreamy fruit juice concoction when I asked for an orange-cranberry mix. We did get peanuts on both flights, but that was merely a precursor to full-fledged meals complete with salad, rolls, and dessert. The main entrees tasted pretty good, and there was plenty to fill us up. Overall, we were both very impressed with all aspects of Delta's service. Thanks for two wonderful flights, Delta!
A guy picked us up along with another couple, Ryan and Natalie from Colorado, and took us the hour-long drive to the resort. Josh knew Ryan from an upgrade he had helped with in St. George, so it was easy to strike up a conversation and chat with them during the drive. They left their 2-year-old daughter behind and Natalie is 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, so we spent the majority of the time talking about our children.
The resort was beautiful - it looked just like the pictures on their website. There was a big tree pruned into the shape of a Mexican hat outside our room and it cracked me up every time I walked by. I wish I would have taken a picture. In an exit survey they asked us to fill out, I listed the landscaping as my favorite thing about the resort. And our room was incredible, but again, I didn't think to take any photos. It had all the typical stuff plus a patio and chairs off the back door, ceiling fans and central air, large walk-in closet, a beautiful armoire holding the television, dvd player and stereo, and a fantastic bathroom. French doors separated the rooms, and the bathroom was nearly as large as the bedroom was. It had a jetted bath, separate shower, dual sinks, private toilet, electronic scale and cushy bath robes. My only wish was that they would have provided us slippers as well.
Thursday night was work stuff, but we skipped out a little early to call home and see how Grayson was doing. Holly said Grayson had had a great day with her little family and didn't fuss much at all. She was nice enough to tell us that Grayson smiled when he heard our voices on the phone, so we went to bed relieved that he hadn't already forgotten us.
Friday morning we slept in until 10am. No, that is not a typo - both of us really did get to sleep in until 10 o'clock in the morning. There was no 5:30am feeding. There was no 6:45am alarm waking Josh for work. It. Was. Awesome. I LOVED sleeping in, even though I was beyond engorged and leaking all over the bed when I finally woke up. But that was nothing a Medela pump and new bed sheets couldn't fix and well worth the extra hours of slumber.
We headed up to a late breakfast and came back to soak in the tub for an hour. I haven't had the time to take a bath since way before Grayson was born, and oh, I just loved it. We planned to go snorkeling and kayaking while we were on vacation, but it was so windy we weren't allowed to go out past the wave breakers. Phooey. I was really disappointed because those were really the only things I wanted to do while we were there. But we decided to get some bicycles and ride a couple of miles down to "5th Avenue" to do a little shopping.
We slept in until 10am again Saturday morning. This time we didn't mean to because we really wanted to go up to the breakfast buffet we had missed the day before, so we just skipped breakfast entirely and had an early lunch instead. The good news is that during this early lunch we ran into another couple there with our group, Jesse and Maggie. I love them.
Maggie and I could spend the next 14 years listening to each other's 'work widow' stories about our hubbies leaving town and/or working late, leaving us to entertain the kiddies or attend social functions all alone. Poor us. We ended up spending a great deal of time with them Saturday and it was so nice to meet new people and have real conversation with them (even if all we did was talk about husbands and kiddies). We had a wonderful time with them - eating, playing in the ocean before resort staff kicked us out, painting our pottery, and getting way too sunburned for comfort. My only regret is we didn't get actual photos with them - I only have them on video.
We had another excellent dinner that night, but everyone was too sore with their sunburns to go karaoke-ing again, so we went to bed instead. This is Josh and I at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the restaurant where we dined.
This is me on the staircase alone, because Josh thinks I'm pretty, even if I have a broken leg.
Don't let this happen to you. It may not look too bad in this photo, but it hurt so bad I cried in the shower Sunday and Monday. I have an awesome base tan now for Lake Powell, but trust me, it wasn't worth it.
Ouchy
Woo-hoo! What a great trip! It was so hard leaving Grayson behind (much harder than I thought it would be), but we had a wonderful time recharging in Mexico. The first day was travel and activities with other employees, which only left us two full days to ourselves, but it turned out to be the perfect vacation.
Early Thursday morning we drove up to Don & Holly's to drop Grayson off for our long weekend. You'd think we were going to be gone for months to look at all the things I stuffed into his suitcase, but I wanted to be completely prepared for anything that could happen while we were away. And even though I'd been preparing myself emotionally all week long, I couldn't bear to leave him behind and started crying before I got out the front door. Wouldn't you know I left my pump in the house, though, and had to go back for it? Holly took one look at me and had doubts I was going to be able to leave a second time, I'm such a crybaby now. But somehow I made it out the door yet again and we were off to Salt Lake International.
This is going to disappoint Kory and her Soapbox, but we flew Delta and had an awesome experience doing so. Josh's work ponied up for business class seats on the non-stops between SLC and Cancun and we couldn't have asked for better service! I was simply amazed at how friendly the agents at check-in were. Seriously, they were so nice and good-natured, I wondered if we'd somehow ended up on a Southwest flight instead. The flight attendants cracked jokes with us, and one of them made me a dreamy fruit juice concoction when I asked for an orange-cranberry mix. We did get peanuts on both flights, but that was merely a precursor to full-fledged meals complete with salad, rolls, and dessert. The main entrees tasted pretty good, and there was plenty to fill us up. Overall, we were both very impressed with all aspects of Delta's service. Thanks for two wonderful flights, Delta!
A guy picked us up along with another couple, Ryan and Natalie from Colorado, and took us the hour-long drive to the resort. Josh knew Ryan from an upgrade he had helped with in St. George, so it was easy to strike up a conversation and chat with them during the drive. They left their 2-year-old daughter behind and Natalie is 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, so we spent the majority of the time talking about our children.
The resort was beautiful - it looked just like the pictures on their website. There was a big tree pruned into the shape of a Mexican hat outside our room and it cracked me up every time I walked by. I wish I would have taken a picture. In an exit survey they asked us to fill out, I listed the landscaping as my favorite thing about the resort. And our room was incredible, but again, I didn't think to take any photos. It had all the typical stuff plus a patio and chairs off the back door, ceiling fans and central air, large walk-in closet, a beautiful armoire holding the television, dvd player and stereo, and a fantastic bathroom. French doors separated the rooms, and the bathroom was nearly as large as the bedroom was. It had a jetted bath, separate shower, dual sinks, private toilet, electronic scale and cushy bath robes. My only wish was that they would have provided us slippers as well.
Thursday night was work stuff, but we skipped out a little early to call home and see how Grayson was doing. Holly said Grayson had had a great day with her little family and didn't fuss much at all. She was nice enough to tell us that Grayson smiled when he heard our voices on the phone, so we went to bed relieved that he hadn't already forgotten us.
Friday morning we slept in until 10am. No, that is not a typo - both of us really did get to sleep in until 10 o'clock in the morning. There was no 5:30am feeding. There was no 6:45am alarm waking Josh for work. It. Was. Awesome. I LOVED sleeping in, even though I was beyond engorged and leaking all over the bed when I finally woke up. But that was nothing a Medela pump and new bed sheets couldn't fix and well worth the extra hours of slumber.
We headed up to a late breakfast and came back to soak in the tub for an hour. I haven't had the time to take a bath since way before Grayson was born, and oh, I just loved it. We planned to go snorkeling and kayaking while we were on vacation, but it was so windy we weren't allowed to go out past the wave breakers. Phooey. I was really disappointed because those were really the only things I wanted to do while we were there. But we decided to get some bicycles and ride a couple of miles down to "5th Avenue" to do a little shopping.
On our way to pick up the bikes 
We spent a lot of time window-shopping and just walking around, but ended up only buying some cooking vanilla, a cute beach bag, and a little dress for my upcoming niece. We headed back to the resort for a late lunch and just lounged around the rest of the evening until dinner. We ate at an Asian restaurant at the resort and the food was sooo yummy. Josh had the best grilled tuna steak I've ever tasted (my salmon was good, too, but that tuna was incredible). There was only one meal we didn't love while we were there, and it was the vegetable lasagna I got for lunch one afternoon. Seriously, though...what was I thinking?
We slept in until 10am again Saturday morning. This time we didn't mean to because we really wanted to go up to the breakfast buffet we had missed the day before, so we just skipped breakfast entirely and had an early lunch instead. The good news is that during this early lunch we ran into another couple there with our group, Jesse and Maggie. I love them.
Maggie and I could spend the next 14 years listening to each other's 'work widow' stories about our hubbies leaving town and/or working late, leaving us to entertain the kiddies or attend social functions all alone. Poor us. We ended up spending a great deal of time with them Saturday and it was so nice to meet new people and have real conversation with them (even if all we did was talk about husbands and kiddies). We had a wonderful time with them - eating, playing in the ocean before resort staff kicked us out, painting our pottery, and getting way too sunburned for comfort. My only regret is we didn't get actual photos with them - I only have them on video.
We had another excellent dinner that night, but everyone was too sore with their sunburns to go karaoke-ing again, so we went to bed instead. This is Josh and I at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the restaurant where we dined.
This is me on the staircase alone, because Josh thinks I'm pretty, even if I have a broken leg.
Don't let this happen to you. It may not look too bad in this photo, but it hurt so bad I cried in the shower Sunday and Monday. I have an awesome base tan now for Lake Powell, but trust me, it wasn't worth it.Ouchy
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Grayson's Blessing
We blessed Grayson today. I think both Josh and I stressed ourselves out too much while preparing for it, but the meeting and family gathering afterward turned out just perfectly, so it was well worth our efforts.
Josh was impressed to say a lot of neat things when he blessed Grayson. He got the usual stuff, like good health, strong testimony of the gospel, mission, temple marriage, etc., but two things stood out to my listening ear. First, Grayson was blessed with a clear mind and the ability to learn quickly. I wouldn't have thought this would be a big deal, but when I heard it, I felt such a wave of relief run through me. I really like learning. I secretly love my college classes, even if I never reach the ultimate goal of becoming a dental hygienist and replacing Josh's income so he can take a different direction career-wise. I hope Grayson's learning ability creates an environment that will foster that same love for learning and carry him well into college so that he doesn't play catch-up the way Josh and I have since we married.
Grayson was also blessed to be a great example to both his family and friends, and was advised to remain compassionate, courteous and kind in dealing with them. I told Josh how he's already begun fulfilling this promise as we've stepped up our own efforts to welcome and keep the Spirit in our home. Both of us are quite lazy spiritually, but we've found the responsibility of raising this baby has really re-dedicated us to the Lord. I'm fairly certain we went to the temple more in the last six months of my pregnancy than we did the entire first two years we were married. I am a little worried about him needing a reminder to be nice to all of us, though. Perhaps his present gentle demeanor is all a facade and he's really going to have my temperament when he gets older. Yikes.
Poor Josh had sweat dripping down the side of his face when he sat back down after the blessing. He was so nervous! But no one noticed, and I was grateful he was willing to wait for a moment to really listen to what the Spirit was saying instead of letting his nerves rush him. We finished out the meeting with both of our testimonies and several others about the importance of family and how essential the family's role is to God's plan. I can't get over how great it is to be a mom. I just love my baby so much - it's hard to imagine life without him. In fact, I don't want to. I'm almost surprised at the level of fulfillment I've gained since having him join our family. Reading back on some of my blog posts during pregnancy, I just shake my head and wonder why I was so scared to embark on this great adventure. I can't believe he's here, and he's all mine. I can see it in his eyes that he loves me. There is no greater feeling than catching my baby's eye, seeing the recognition in his face, and getting a smile as reward. I don't even have to do anything but be there! And the greatest thing is that I am there, and he knows it. I hope he always knows it. I'm sure this is what it was like for Alison, Amanda's mom, when she adopted my little girl, and I'm so grateful I could give this feeling, this experience, to her. I thought I knew love when I had Amanda and placed her with her family, but now that I'm experiencing a different side to parenthood, I know a far deeper, unconditional love than I ever imagined possible. I'm so very happy.
I could go on and tell you how perfect the weather was for our outdoor luncheon afterward and rave about the dozens of wonderful family members that drove a long way to come support us, but instead I'll leave it as simply being one of the happiest days of my life. Here we are, back at the house. I see so much of Josh in him now. I just love it.
Josh was impressed to say a lot of neat things when he blessed Grayson. He got the usual stuff, like good health, strong testimony of the gospel, mission, temple marriage, etc., but two things stood out to my listening ear. First, Grayson was blessed with a clear mind and the ability to learn quickly. I wouldn't have thought this would be a big deal, but when I heard it, I felt such a wave of relief run through me. I really like learning. I secretly love my college classes, even if I never reach the ultimate goal of becoming a dental hygienist and replacing Josh's income so he can take a different direction career-wise. I hope Grayson's learning ability creates an environment that will foster that same love for learning and carry him well into college so that he doesn't play catch-up the way Josh and I have since we married.
Grayson was also blessed to be a great example to both his family and friends, and was advised to remain compassionate, courteous and kind in dealing with them. I told Josh how he's already begun fulfilling this promise as we've stepped up our own efforts to welcome and keep the Spirit in our home. Both of us are quite lazy spiritually, but we've found the responsibility of raising this baby has really re-dedicated us to the Lord. I'm fairly certain we went to the temple more in the last six months of my pregnancy than we did the entire first two years we were married. I am a little worried about him needing a reminder to be nice to all of us, though. Perhaps his present gentle demeanor is all a facade and he's really going to have my temperament when he gets older. Yikes.
Poor Josh had sweat dripping down the side of his face when he sat back down after the blessing. He was so nervous! But no one noticed, and I was grateful he was willing to wait for a moment to really listen to what the Spirit was saying instead of letting his nerves rush him. We finished out the meeting with both of our testimonies and several others about the importance of family and how essential the family's role is to God's plan. I can't get over how great it is to be a mom. I just love my baby so much - it's hard to imagine life without him. In fact, I don't want to. I'm almost surprised at the level of fulfillment I've gained since having him join our family. Reading back on some of my blog posts during pregnancy, I just shake my head and wonder why I was so scared to embark on this great adventure. I can't believe he's here, and he's all mine. I can see it in his eyes that he loves me. There is no greater feeling than catching my baby's eye, seeing the recognition in his face, and getting a smile as reward. I don't even have to do anything but be there! And the greatest thing is that I am there, and he knows it. I hope he always knows it. I'm sure this is what it was like for Alison, Amanda's mom, when she adopted my little girl, and I'm so grateful I could give this feeling, this experience, to her. I thought I knew love when I had Amanda and placed her with her family, but now that I'm experiencing a different side to parenthood, I know a far deeper, unconditional love than I ever imagined possible. I'm so very happy.
I could go on and tell you how perfect the weather was for our outdoor luncheon afterward and rave about the dozens of wonderful family members that drove a long way to come support us, but instead I'll leave it as simply being one of the happiest days of my life. Here we are, back at the house. I see so much of Josh in him now. I just love it.
My eternal family
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Cancun!
Do any of you remember that one post, a long time ago, when I commented that my husband's work ethic was the thing I hated to love about him? If you don't, here's the lowdown...Josh travels a lot for work and occasionally works late during the week. I often refer to myself as a 'work widow', and with good cause. He misses some family gatherings and nights out with friends when he's on-call. He's the Senior FSE for this area, so even though there are two other guys to help out when necessary, Josh is the primary go-to guy. When a hospital has a problem, Josh is the first to hear about it. It usually isn't much of a problem, though, just an inconvenience. I have Grayson to keep me company now, and we always like the extra cash overtime and on-call brings in. But today we got word that Josh has earned the ultimate reward.
My husband is a member of the President's Club. And as such, Josh's job wants to send us to Cancun! On their dime! And Grayson can go, too!
This is totally new territory for us. We haven't taken any real vacations since we were engaged because we're constantly putting any extra money into the 'house downpayment fund' (which we hope to cash out later this year, if Cherlyn really decides to sell this house!). The trip is short, just May 22-May 25, but that's perfect for my summer school schedule (Mon-Wed). And we can add extra days if we want to, but I'm just not sure about international travel and vacation with a 3-month-old.
So, do we dare take Grayson with us to Cancun? I know I can leave him here with my brother's family and just pump in Cancun to keep up my milk supply. If we go, do we dare add a couple of extra days? If we take Grayson, will he need any special shots before or after the trip? How do I get there if my passport shows Paige H and not Paige G?
So much to consider, so short an attention span. A few things are certain, though: I want Josh to go. He deserves it. And I'm going, whether Josh or Grayson go or not. I also deserve it. Yay for us!
My husband is a member of the President's Club. And as such, Josh's job wants to send us to Cancun! On their dime! And Grayson can go, too!
This is totally new territory for us. We haven't taken any real vacations since we were engaged because we're constantly putting any extra money into the 'house downpayment fund' (which we hope to cash out later this year, if Cherlyn really decides to sell this house!). The trip is short, just May 22-May 25, but that's perfect for my summer school schedule (Mon-Wed). And we can add extra days if we want to, but I'm just not sure about international travel and vacation with a 3-month-old.
So, do we dare take Grayson with us to Cancun? I know I can leave him here with my brother's family and just pump in Cancun to keep up my milk supply. If we go, do we dare add a couple of extra days? If we take Grayson, will he need any special shots before or after the trip? How do I get there if my passport shows Paige H and not Paige G?
So much to consider, so short an attention span. A few things are certain, though: I want Josh to go. He deserves it. And I'm going, whether Josh or Grayson go or not. I also deserve it. Yay for us!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Springtime!
Oh my, I just love springtime! Josh said these last couple days of weather have made the move to Utah worth all that s-word ('snow' for you potty-mouths), but I'm going to need about 10-15 more degrees to be completely satisfied. But hey, I'll gladly take this semi-warmth in the meantime.
We're finally blessing Grayson this Sunday and have spent the last two Saturdays working on the yards to pretty them up before all of our family comes to visit. We just love how big the lawns are, but they sure needed a bit of work when we moved in. Josh took the time to put down winter fertilizer after we had it aerated last fall, and it really paid off. It's already nice and green! We haven't successfully killed off the few dandelions yet and we still need to treat it for spots of grubs and crabgrass, but it's definitely doable for an outside gathering this weekend.
The shrubbery and flower beds still need a bit of work, though. The owner planted several varieties of rose bushes around the house, but they hadn't been pruned the last couple of years and were becoming an eyesore. So Josh got some pruning shears from his parents' house and I started cutting away on Saturday. Our neighbors, Bill and Kit, came over to inspect my work and Bill asked if he could try it. Although we disagreed on how short to trim the bushes (the owner told me to trim the bushes down to about 3 feet, but Bill was dead-set on 13 inches), I gave him the pruning shears anyway. Over the next hour-and-a-half, Bill nearly obliterated four rose bushes in the front yard, all the while assuring me they weren't too short. I gave up protesting after the first bush, and Kit and I pulled weeds instead. While the rose bushes look much better now (you can see the front of the house!), I'm a little worried we won't get any actual flowers this summer.
After Bill
There were an awful lot of really long, thorny rose branches to dispose of afterward, so Josh had to cut them all up to fit in the trash can. What you see in this picture are the cuttings from only one rose bush!
I don't think either of us realized how much we missed yard work until we came back to one after having a small patch of grass in Las Vegas. We even fight over who gets to mow the lawns (although Josh usually wins because my time's better spent in the laundry room). Oh, I can't wait to plant my garden this year!
We're finally blessing Grayson this Sunday and have spent the last two Saturdays working on the yards to pretty them up before all of our family comes to visit. We just love how big the lawns are, but they sure needed a bit of work when we moved in. Josh took the time to put down winter fertilizer after we had it aerated last fall, and it really paid off. It's already nice and green! We haven't successfully killed off the few dandelions yet and we still need to treat it for spots of grubs and crabgrass, but it's definitely doable for an outside gathering this weekend.
The shrubbery and flower beds still need a bit of work, though. The owner planted several varieties of rose bushes around the house, but they hadn't been pruned the last couple of years and were becoming an eyesore. So Josh got some pruning shears from his parents' house and I started cutting away on Saturday. Our neighbors, Bill and Kit, came over to inspect my work and Bill asked if he could try it. Although we disagreed on how short to trim the bushes (the owner told me to trim the bushes down to about 3 feet, but Bill was dead-set on 13 inches), I gave him the pruning shears anyway. Over the next hour-and-a-half, Bill nearly obliterated four rose bushes in the front yard, all the while assuring me they weren't too short. I gave up protesting after the first bush, and Kit and I pulled weeds instead. While the rose bushes look much better now (you can see the front of the house!), I'm a little worried we won't get any actual flowers this summer.
Before Bill
After Bill
There were an awful lot of really long, thorny rose branches to dispose of afterward, so Josh had to cut them all up to fit in the trash can. What you see in this picture are the cuttings from only one rose bush!
I don't think either of us realized how much we missed yard work until we came back to one after having a small patch of grass in Las Vegas. We even fight over who gets to mow the lawns (although Josh usually wins because my time's better spent in the laundry room). Oh, I can't wait to plant my garden this year!Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Hey Babe
Josh is training out in New Jersey all this week and told me he's been watching the last couple of Grayson videos over and over again every night because he misses him so much. So I'm posting this as his honorary second life.
My Mom wanted me to tell you "We saw your kid and you didn't, sucka!" when they drove up last-minute for the Jazz game Monday night.
Of course, that's not 'exactly' what she said, but close enough. I'm sure she'll call me right away to protest when she reads that.
Nothing exciting happened yesterday, but today has been a riot. Occasionally when he eats, Grayson will fall off to take a breather - usually when he's concentrating on expelling gas. Well, during his first feeding today, he fell off as expected but what happened next was anything but ordinary. I heard something suspicious so checked him out, and oh my, lookit what I found!
Yes, that is our baby's poop smeared out of the top of his diaper and up his back. Lucky for everyone reading, I didn't take any detailed pictures. This was his worst blowout to date, hands down. Somehow I managed to get Grayson's jammies off without creating too big of a mess and threw him in the bath. Unfortunately, he doesn't like to do anything but eat when he's hungry, so he did not have a good time getting cleaned up.
Still feel like you're missing out?
Anyway, I got Grayson cleaned up, fed him and dressed him for the day. I purposefully put him in the blue outfit that you love because I knew I would write you your own blog entry tonight. After he was dressed, I asked Grayson if he wanted to take over your half of the bed while you're out of town. He thought that was a great idea and wasted no time settling in.
Finally, I asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell you, darlin', and true to "H" form, he went on and on and on and... (Sorry if I ruined it by talking over him at times - I was just trying to encourage him!)
I know we just spoke on the phone, and I need to get this published so you can read it tonight before you go to bed, but I thought I'd let you know that I narrowly escaped rolling over the soybean that popped out of its shell while we were talking. Grayson is done eating, burped like a champ, and fell fast asleep on my chest. Just like it was yours.
I guess Grayson gets his double chin from me, eh? We love you and can't wait for you to come home!
My Mom wanted me to tell you "We saw your kid and you didn't, sucka!" when they drove up last-minute for the Jazz game Monday night.
Of course, that's not 'exactly' what she said, but close enough. I'm sure she'll call me right away to protest when she reads that.Nothing exciting happened yesterday, but today has been a riot. Occasionally when he eats, Grayson will fall off to take a breather - usually when he's concentrating on expelling gas. Well, during his first feeding today, he fell off as expected but what happened next was anything but ordinary. I heard something suspicious so checked him out, and oh my, lookit what I found!
Yes, that is our baby's poop smeared out of the top of his diaper and up his back. Lucky for everyone reading, I didn't take any detailed pictures. This was his worst blowout to date, hands down. Somehow I managed to get Grayson's jammies off without creating too big of a mess and threw him in the bath. Unfortunately, he doesn't like to do anything but eat when he's hungry, so he did not have a good time getting cleaned up.
Still feel like you're missing out?Anyway, I got Grayson cleaned up, fed him and dressed him for the day. I purposefully put him in the blue outfit that you love because I knew I would write you your own blog entry tonight. After he was dressed, I asked Grayson if he wanted to take over your half of the bed while you're out of town. He thought that was a great idea and wasted no time settling in.
Finally, I asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell you, darlin', and true to "H" form, he went on and on and on and... (Sorry if I ruined it by talking over him at times - I was just trying to encourage him!)I know we just spoke on the phone, and I need to get this published so you can read it tonight before you go to bed, but I thought I'd let you know that I narrowly escaped rolling over the soybean that popped out of its shell while we were talking. Grayson is done eating, burped like a champ, and fell fast asleep on my chest. Just like it was yours.
I guess Grayson gets his double chin from me, eh? We love you and can't wait for you to come home!Friday, April 4, 2008
Awww...
My husband is so sweet, that when there are just two slices of bread left in the loaf, he'll eat the heel and leave me the last remaining 'normal' slice, even though he eats breakfast first in the morning.
I sure do love him.
And here is a video of our little Chunky Monkey, taken just this morning:
I sure do love him.
And here is a video of our little Chunky Monkey, taken just this morning:
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Rejected
My pregnancy and Grayson's ensuing birth has turned my blog focus onto him instead of yours truly, but today I'm reclaiming it with some big news:
I got rejected by the dental hygiene program.
I got the letter last Thursday, March 27. I have to admit that I was surprised. Even though there are only 14 seats and about 60-70 applicants every year, I applied with a 4.0 GPA and high scores on the application exam and knew I had an excellent chance of getting in. So I was surprised, even though I had tried not to get my hopes up.
Well, surprise quickly wore off and sadness started creeping in. I started to cry. I cried lots and lots, more than I have in a very long time. I was so disappointed in myself. You see, Josh and I have a 10-year plan, but getting rejected was not part of the plan, and it had been going perfectly for the last 2.5 years. Why did I have to go and screw up the plan? I called Josh (he worked out of town Wed-Fri) and bawled to him. What are we going to do now? I felt completely lost and totally stupid. I felt so bad. I felt like a failure. Why did I think I could compete with all those girls 10+ years my junior?
Then I got mad. I got mad because if Josh hadn't dragged us back up to this God-forsaken state, I'd have gotten into the dental hygiene program in Vegas. I was done with those pre-reqs before we moved. I had taken their test. Their program takes twice as many students. There is no driving in snowstorms to get to campus. It was ideal in every way. But no, my husband had to screw it all up. I cried even harder, I was so angry. My emotions ran wild like that all day long.
Finally, at Grayson's 4am feeding, I let the relief I'd been quashing all day settle over me. I wouldn't have to leave my 6-month-old to go back to school full-time! We never knew what we were going to do with him - we'd figure that out once I knew my school schedule - but Josh's work schedule is so unpredictable, we were certainly going to have to find a sitter or daycare. Thankfully, that won't have to happen now.
As it turns out, I was rejected because my application was deemed 'ineligible.' The department called me on Monday and told me so. Seems the transfer credit office was mistaken when they told me Chem 121 would work to fulfill the Chem 1110 requirement, since it's a more advanced Chemistry. But nope. Not true. I have to take Chem 1110 this summer or fall to have it completed before I apply to next year's program. And the lady said I would have had an 'excellent chance' of being accepted if I had been eligible. Looks good for next year!
So we're sticking with the plan, but just delaying it one year. We're hoping it won't be so bad to start the program next year instead. Grayson will be one year older, and hopefully we will be permanently settled in our own home by then. Meanwhile, I'll take the infamous Chem class this summer, and probably Microbiology this fall, just to get it out of the way. The good news is I'm applying to SLCC right now so I can take the classes closer to home. And don't worry - I've already double-checked that the credits will transfer seamlessly this time.
I got rejected by the dental hygiene program.
I got the letter last Thursday, March 27. I have to admit that I was surprised. Even though there are only 14 seats and about 60-70 applicants every year, I applied with a 4.0 GPA and high scores on the application exam and knew I had an excellent chance of getting in. So I was surprised, even though I had tried not to get my hopes up.
Well, surprise quickly wore off and sadness started creeping in. I started to cry. I cried lots and lots, more than I have in a very long time. I was so disappointed in myself. You see, Josh and I have a 10-year plan, but getting rejected was not part of the plan, and it had been going perfectly for the last 2.5 years. Why did I have to go and screw up the plan? I called Josh (he worked out of town Wed-Fri) and bawled to him. What are we going to do now? I felt completely lost and totally stupid. I felt so bad. I felt like a failure. Why did I think I could compete with all those girls 10+ years my junior?
Then I got mad. I got mad because if Josh hadn't dragged us back up to this God-forsaken state, I'd have gotten into the dental hygiene program in Vegas. I was done with those pre-reqs before we moved. I had taken their test. Their program takes twice as many students. There is no driving in snowstorms to get to campus. It was ideal in every way. But no, my husband had to screw it all up. I cried even harder, I was so angry. My emotions ran wild like that all day long.
Finally, at Grayson's 4am feeding, I let the relief I'd been quashing all day settle over me. I wouldn't have to leave my 6-month-old to go back to school full-time! We never knew what we were going to do with him - we'd figure that out once I knew my school schedule - but Josh's work schedule is so unpredictable, we were certainly going to have to find a sitter or daycare. Thankfully, that won't have to happen now.
As it turns out, I was rejected because my application was deemed 'ineligible.' The department called me on Monday and told me so. Seems the transfer credit office was mistaken when they told me Chem 121 would work to fulfill the Chem 1110 requirement, since it's a more advanced Chemistry. But nope. Not true. I have to take Chem 1110 this summer or fall to have it completed before I apply to next year's program. And the lady said I would have had an 'excellent chance' of being accepted if I had been eligible. Looks good for next year!
So we're sticking with the plan, but just delaying it one year. We're hoping it won't be so bad to start the program next year instead. Grayson will be one year older, and hopefully we will be permanently settled in our own home by then. Meanwhile, I'll take the infamous Chem class this summer, and probably Microbiology this fall, just to get it out of the way. The good news is I'm applying to SLCC right now so I can take the classes closer to home. And don't worry - I've already double-checked that the credits will transfer seamlessly this time.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Dad's in charge!
Josh got the pleasure of staying home with the kid while I went to school today. I took last Saturday off from class, but couldn't afford to miss another because I have a test next week. I got up super early to shower and let my milk come in so I could feed the kid before I had to go. I leave for class around 7:15am and don't return until after 11am, so I left four ounces of milk for Josh to feed him while I was gone. Seriously, I couldn't have made it any easier on my husband.
Anyway, I was secretly excited that Josh was going to be 'stuck' caring for and entertaining the kid while I was gone - even if was for just a few short hours - just so he could finally understand how difficult it is to get anything requiring multiple hands or more than a five-minute attention span accomplished, but my plan was thwarted by none other than Grandma. My own mother ruined me! My folks came up for another visit since Monday is a holiday. So I get home about 11:30am, and there's Grandma on the couch with Grayson, and Josh is in the computer room, hacking away at some blasted spreadsheet. My one partial day off in two weeks, and Josh managed to pawn the kid off on a sitter. Go figure.
In other great news, yesterday was Grayson's 2-week checkup. He is doing so well! He's in the 10th percentile for weight, but the 75th percentile for length, so yes, he's definitely mine. He actually measured 20 3/4 inches long (a 2-inch increase in only two weeks?), so the nurse measured him again, same length, and we have concluded the hospital staff didn't stretch him out all the way at birth. He also bounced back from his lowest weight of 5lb.13oz. to a rockin' 6lb.10oz., surpassing his birth weight by 5 ounces. That weight gain plus the incredible number of diapers he poops led the pediatrician to tell me, 'Whatever you're feeding him must be perfect.' That was really nice to hear, as middle-of-the-night feedings were starting to really wear on me. It was just the boost I needed to reaffirm that I'm giving him all the best things right now. We make a good team. Way to go, Us!
Anyway, I was secretly excited that Josh was going to be 'stuck' caring for and entertaining the kid while I was gone - even if was for just a few short hours - just so he could finally understand how difficult it is to get anything requiring multiple hands or more than a five-minute attention span accomplished, but my plan was thwarted by none other than Grandma. My own mother ruined me! My folks came up for another visit since Monday is a holiday. So I get home about 11:30am, and there's Grandma on the couch with Grayson, and Josh is in the computer room, hacking away at some blasted spreadsheet. My one partial day off in two weeks, and Josh managed to pawn the kid off on a sitter. Go figure.
In other great news, yesterday was Grayson's 2-week checkup. He is doing so well! He's in the 10th percentile for weight, but the 75th percentile for length, so yes, he's definitely mine. He actually measured 20 3/4 inches long (a 2-inch increase in only two weeks?), so the nurse measured him again, same length, and we have concluded the hospital staff didn't stretch him out all the way at birth. He also bounced back from his lowest weight of 5lb.13oz. to a rockin' 6lb.10oz., surpassing his birth weight by 5 ounces. That weight gain plus the incredible number of diapers he poops led the pediatrician to tell me, 'Whatever you're feeding him must be perfect.' That was really nice to hear, as middle-of-the-night feedings were starting to really wear on me. It was just the boost I needed to reaffirm that I'm giving him all the best things right now. We make a good team. Way to go, Us!
Already 2 weeks old!
Friday, February 8, 2008
The Name Game
We stayed up far too late last night in a last-ditch effort to name our kid. Allison from the hospital is going to call me at some point in time today to get the name from us, and we promised we'd have one ready. So guess which one we settled on? Grayson! Yeah, go figure. And guess which one of us finally settled on it? Josh did!
I couldn't believe it. We had about 30 names on our list and made the rule that we couldn't add any more - we had to choose from those already listed. Another rule was that either of us could nix any name we wanted to, regardless of how much the other person liked it. The final rule was that we couldn't keep a name on the list if we didn't like it just because we knew the other person liked it. So with our list and the rules in hand, we started going through name after name and crossing off the losers. I was the one that originally suggested Grayson and was pretty set on it before we even knew we were having a boy. Well, Josh didn't like that he wasn't part of the naming process, so he had protested pretty heavily against it. I accepted that the fate of 'Grayson' was improbable, and had moved on to other names, particularly Trevin and Lincoln.
Anyway, throughout the elimination process, Josh kept Grayson on the list, even after I asked him to cross it off. He knew that I liked it, and he said he liked it better than some others on the list, so I let him do what he wanted with it (even though he was breaking the third rule). We finally cut the list down to our top five - Trevin, Lincoln, Grayson, Dylan, and Mason. Josh nixed Trevin and Lincoln, and I cut Dylan. We were down to Grayson and Mason, and he looks more like a Mason than a Grayson to me, so I said, "K, let's name him Mason" but Josh was more hesitant. We both liked the alliteration of Grayson with our last name, but we thought Mason sounded more masculine. We were stuck, and I was getting very tired.
We decided to draw his name out of a bowl - the best of five draws - and Mason ended up winning. So why is his name Grayson instead? Josh made an executive decision to go with the name that sounded best, and I was finally exhausted enough that I said he could name him whatever he wanted. He could have named him Thor for all I cared by that time.
And that is how our poor baby finally got his name. I guess he really doesn't need a name, anyway, though, because we mostly call him 'Baby', 'Bud', and 'The Kid' and that seems to be working out quite nicely.
I couldn't believe it. We had about 30 names on our list and made the rule that we couldn't add any more - we had to choose from those already listed. Another rule was that either of us could nix any name we wanted to, regardless of how much the other person liked it. The final rule was that we couldn't keep a name on the list if we didn't like it just because we knew the other person liked it. So with our list and the rules in hand, we started going through name after name and crossing off the losers. I was the one that originally suggested Grayson and was pretty set on it before we even knew we were having a boy. Well, Josh didn't like that he wasn't part of the naming process, so he had protested pretty heavily against it. I accepted that the fate of 'Grayson' was improbable, and had moved on to other names, particularly Trevin and Lincoln.
Anyway, throughout the elimination process, Josh kept Grayson on the list, even after I asked him to cross it off. He knew that I liked it, and he said he liked it better than some others on the list, so I let him do what he wanted with it (even though he was breaking the third rule). We finally cut the list down to our top five - Trevin, Lincoln, Grayson, Dylan, and Mason. Josh nixed Trevin and Lincoln, and I cut Dylan. We were down to Grayson and Mason, and he looks more like a Mason than a Grayson to me, so I said, "K, let's name him Mason" but Josh was more hesitant. We both liked the alliteration of Grayson with our last name, but we thought Mason sounded more masculine. We were stuck, and I was getting very tired.
We decided to draw his name out of a bowl - the best of five draws - and Mason ended up winning. So why is his name Grayson instead? Josh made an executive decision to go with the name that sounded best, and I was finally exhausted enough that I said he could name him whatever he wanted. He could have named him Thor for all I cared by that time.
And that is how our poor baby finally got his name. I guess he really doesn't need a name, anyway, though, because we mostly call him 'Baby', 'Bud', and 'The Kid' and that seems to be working out quite nicely.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Normal(?) again
Thanks for letting me feel sorry for myself and vent a little in the last two posts. Thankfully, my spirits are way up since last time. Little did I know that while I was in the office typing off my pregnancy frustrations Sunday night, my sweet husband was in the kitchen preparing me a delicious dinner of pasta and sauce with steamed chicken and peppers. So yummy! He even did the dishes afterward, and rubbed my back when we went to bed. Such a good man I have.
Here's proof that I really *have* gotten huge in the last couple of weeks. It's not a great photo, but sometimes you just have to take pics with what's available.
And even though it sounds like it, it hasn't been all bad. I drove up to Bountiful last Wednesday to meet up with my good friend, Juli, for lunch. I haven't seen her since she came down to Vegas to try out for Nashville Star in 2006. She made the first call-back on that audition, but didn't make it to the TV show. It's really too bad because she has such a beautiful voice. Anyway, here we are at her office:
Then on Saturday night, Josh and I went out with my dear friend, Amanda, and her husband Tony. We did an early session at the temple (figured we'd better get one more in before the kid comes) and went to dinner afterward. It was so nice to catch up with them, and we had a fantastic evening. I didn't think to take my camera along for a photo op, so we'll have to go out with them again soon.
Finally, Lacie came over yesterday to help me recover the cushions on a glider a nice woman gave me for the nursery. I was supposed to go up to her house, but with all the snow that fell for about seven hours yesterday, there was no way my car was going to get out of the driveway. So she drove her sweet self all the way down here and spent a couple of hours keeping me sane while I was trapped inside the house. Lacie is such a good friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. The new cushion covers look sooo good! I wish I had thought to take a 'before' picture as proof, but I promise that this looks much MUCH better than the old blue material with pink specks in the pattern.
One day when it warms up, Josh is going to sand the glider down and stain it to match the dresser. Our baby's room is going to look so classy!
And I need to get the pictures from my awesome neighbors who were kind and generous enough to throw me a baby shower Saturday afternoon, even though we're so new in the area. Two women came that I hadn't even met yet! I can't believe the amount of genuine love and support that Josh and I have felt since moving back to Utah. We both just feel so blessed to have made the decision to come back, and it's nice to get that confirmation that we made a good choice.
Here's proof that I really *have* gotten huge in the last couple of weeks. It's not a great photo, but sometimes you just have to take pics with what's available.
Only two weeks to go!!
And even though it sounds like it, it hasn't been all bad. I drove up to Bountiful last Wednesday to meet up with my good friend, Juli, for lunch. I haven't seen her since she came down to Vegas to try out for Nashville Star in 2006. She made the first call-back on that audition, but didn't make it to the TV show. It's really too bad because she has such a beautiful voice. Anyway, here we are at her office:
Then on Saturday night, Josh and I went out with my dear friend, Amanda, and her husband Tony. We did an early session at the temple (figured we'd better get one more in before the kid comes) and went to dinner afterward. It was so nice to catch up with them, and we had a fantastic evening. I didn't think to take my camera along for a photo op, so we'll have to go out with them again soon.Finally, Lacie came over yesterday to help me recover the cushions on a glider a nice woman gave me for the nursery. I was supposed to go up to her house, but with all the snow that fell for about seven hours yesterday, there was no way my car was going to get out of the driveway. So she drove her sweet self all the way down here and spent a couple of hours keeping me sane while I was trapped inside the house. Lacie is such a good friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. The new cushion covers look sooo good! I wish I had thought to take a 'before' picture as proof, but I promise that this looks much MUCH better than the old blue material with pink specks in the pattern.
One day when it warms up, Josh is going to sand the glider down and stain it to match the dresser. Our baby's room is going to look so classy!And I need to get the pictures from my awesome neighbors who were kind and generous enough to throw me a baby shower Saturday afternoon, even though we're so new in the area. Two women came that I hadn't even met yet! I can't believe the amount of genuine love and support that Josh and I have felt since moving back to Utah. We both just feel so blessed to have made the decision to come back, and it's nice to get that confirmation that we made a good choice.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Freaking out
Josh got home around 6pm from work last night and I had baby clothes scattered throughout the house. They were everywhere. They covered the sofa and love seat, some living room floor, our bed, the baby's crib, and the kitchen table. I inherited most of them from my sister's two boys, but got some nice new stuff at my shower as well, so I washed it all yesterday in preparation for the kid's arrival. I have lots o' clothes from newborn to six months that I want to keep available because I have no idea what's going to fit our little guy when he comes. That, and some stuff looks awfully teeny for the size listed on the tag.
Anyway, Josh looked around but didn't say anything. I cleared him a spot for his laptop on the coffee table and asked him when he thought we could refinish the dresser. Turns out the paint stripper we got recommends use in temperatures between 65-85 F. It hasn't been that warm here for at least three months! So I disappointedly agreed to just use the dresser as is for right now, and we'll refinish it later when it's warmed up outside. I'm going to clean it up as best I can today, but I can't help but be so sad that it's not going to look all fresh and new for the baby. I'm still going to look for some new hardware right now, though.
About an hour later, after he was done exercising, he came into the kitchen while I was making dinner and asked me how I thought things were coming along. I asked if he was talking about baby things or if I was missing something. Yes, he was talking about baby preparation...was there anything I wanted him to be doing that he wasn't? I told him no, because there really isn't, but then I got really quiet and tried to hold back my tears.
The truth is, I'm totally freaking out about being a mother. I haven't been scared or nervous to be pregnant at all. I almost like being pregnant. I'm not scared to go into labor and have the kid, either. But being pregnant and delivering a baby are not the same as having a baby. I can do the first two - I did a great job the first time around. But I chose not to take the baby home and dress her and feed her and bathe her and burp her and get up with her in the night and sooth her when she cries. I gave that responsibility to someone that not only wanted it, but was prepared to do it. All I had to do was heal up real quick-like and drown myself in school and work.
But now, every morning, I wake up and realize that this baby is going to be born in a few weeks and instead of going home with another family, he's going to come home with me and Josh. And we're going to be responsible for everything for him. And that scares me. Then I get worried that Josh isn't as scared as I am. And then I feel guilty because I'm more scared than excited, like I won't love the baby like I'm supposed to. And then I get worried again when everyone says my motherly instincts will kick in and I'll just 'know' what to do. Because...what if they don't kick in? And it's a whirlwind of emotions that I don't like to have but I can't seem to shake them, and I feel so overwhelmed when I look at all these little clothes and I wonder why it felt like such a good decision when we decided to stop trying to prevent pregnancy.
So, in response to his question, I tell my husband these things and he patiently listens to me and brings me tissues to wipe my cheeks and blow my nose. Then he offers to give me a blessing, and I accept. And even though I cried again today recapping these feelings and events, you need to know that as he used the Priesthood to bless me with strength of spirit and comfort at this time, I felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. It was like He calmed the emotional turmoil that had been consuming me for days. He gave me a sweet, gentle, reminder that I need to spend a little more time on my knees and a little less time in my head.
I am so incredibly grateful for Josh, for his wisdom, and for his worthiness. I don't know how to explain my simple love for him, but he is probably the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. This baby and I are so lucky to have him leading our family.
Anyway, Josh looked around but didn't say anything. I cleared him a spot for his laptop on the coffee table and asked him when he thought we could refinish the dresser. Turns out the paint stripper we got recommends use in temperatures between 65-85 F. It hasn't been that warm here for at least three months! So I disappointedly agreed to just use the dresser as is for right now, and we'll refinish it later when it's warmed up outside. I'm going to clean it up as best I can today, but I can't help but be so sad that it's not going to look all fresh and new for the baby. I'm still going to look for some new hardware right now, though.
About an hour later, after he was done exercising, he came into the kitchen while I was making dinner and asked me how I thought things were coming along. I asked if he was talking about baby things or if I was missing something. Yes, he was talking about baby preparation...was there anything I wanted him to be doing that he wasn't? I told him no, because there really isn't, but then I got really quiet and tried to hold back my tears.
The truth is, I'm totally freaking out about being a mother. I haven't been scared or nervous to be pregnant at all. I almost like being pregnant. I'm not scared to go into labor and have the kid, either. But being pregnant and delivering a baby are not the same as having a baby. I can do the first two - I did a great job the first time around. But I chose not to take the baby home and dress her and feed her and bathe her and burp her and get up with her in the night and sooth her when she cries. I gave that responsibility to someone that not only wanted it, but was prepared to do it. All I had to do was heal up real quick-like and drown myself in school and work.
But now, every morning, I wake up and realize that this baby is going to be born in a few weeks and instead of going home with another family, he's going to come home with me and Josh. And we're going to be responsible for everything for him. And that scares me. Then I get worried that Josh isn't as scared as I am. And then I feel guilty because I'm more scared than excited, like I won't love the baby like I'm supposed to. And then I get worried again when everyone says my motherly instincts will kick in and I'll just 'know' what to do. Because...what if they don't kick in? And it's a whirlwind of emotions that I don't like to have but I can't seem to shake them, and I feel so overwhelmed when I look at all these little clothes and I wonder why it felt like such a good decision when we decided to stop trying to prevent pregnancy.
So, in response to his question, I tell my husband these things and he patiently listens to me and brings me tissues to wipe my cheeks and blow my nose. Then he offers to give me a blessing, and I accept. And even though I cried again today recapping these feelings and events, you need to know that as he used the Priesthood to bless me with strength of spirit and comfort at this time, I felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. It was like He calmed the emotional turmoil that had been consuming me for days. He gave me a sweet, gentle, reminder that I need to spend a little more time on my knees and a little less time in my head.
I am so incredibly grateful for Josh, for his wisdom, and for his worthiness. I don't know how to explain my simple love for him, but he is probably the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. This baby and I are so lucky to have him leading our family.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Baby shower
Well, Josh is sick. It hit him the worst on Friday while he was traveling to and working in Dixie, but he's fallen asleep by 10pm the last couple of nights, and it seems to be helping him recover. I'm also finally on the mend, so hopefully we'll soon be rid of all the sick germs floating around our house.
Saturday morning I woke up at 4:11am to the baby's hiccups and I could not fall back asleep. The hiccups stopped at 4:48am, but I still lay there, wide awake, until well after 5am. My sleepless night left me very tired for my nutrition class Saturday morning and my baby shower that afternoon. Lots of friends and family came to support me. My mom and two sisters even left southern Utah at 8am to make it here on time, then drove back home later that afternoon. So, so, sweet are they!
Even though my energy level was down a bit, I still had a wonderful time. Here's proof:
(My silly computer crashed while I was uploading photos, and I don't have them saved on Josh's computer, so I'll have to post more another time.)
Saturday morning I woke up at 4:11am to the baby's hiccups and I could not fall back asleep. The hiccups stopped at 4:48am, but I still lay there, wide awake, until well after 5am. My sleepless night left me very tired for my nutrition class Saturday morning and my baby shower that afternoon. Lots of friends and family came to support me. My mom and two sisters even left southern Utah at 8am to make it here on time, then drove back home later that afternoon. So, so, sweet are they!
Even though my energy level was down a bit, I still had a wonderful time. Here's proof:
Getting bigger! Lacie & Paige, 37 weeks pregnant 
My sweet mother and I
My sweet mother and I
(My silly computer crashed while I was uploading photos, and I don't have them saved on Josh's computer, so I'll have to post more another time.)
Friday, January 11, 2008
All things baby!
My ob appt Wednesday went well. I haven't started dilating yet, the pregnancy is still normal, and I'm still healthy. I've gained 28 pounds so far with this pregnancy, so I'll easily break 30 before I deliver. My doctor is very happy as our (his) goal was 30-35 pounds with this pregnancy. I feel like such a good, obedient patient! I can't help but think that 30 pounds seems a bit excessive, but if the baby is healthy and I don't reach 150, I don't really care. I'll bet most of it is in my breasts, anyway. Ugh.
Last night I put together the baby swing my mother bought. It was super easy - I did it all by myself!
We're purposefully accumulating green items so we can use them again if we have a girl the second time around. Earlier yesterday, I scrubbed down and set up the shelves and crib Hill gave us. I still need to wipe down the mattress and wash the bedding sheet and blanket before it's completely ready. We registered for this crib bedding set but then it went on clearance, so we hurried and bought it before it was sold out. Hey, at least we saved 80 bucks on it.
The only other major project to complete before the baby comes is to refinish the dresser. It currently sits in the garage, waiting for Josh to have a free weekend to get it done. It was my mother's mother's dresser, and when my mom inherited it, she painted it white and I used it as a little girl. Now my mother has passed it on to me, but it desperately needs some tlc. The plan is to sand off all the paint, stain it to match a glider a lady gave us, and update the hardware, so it involves a lot of chemicals that I'm not allowed to touch or breathe in as a pregnant woman.
But my dear husband has been so busy with work that I don't want to bother him about it tomorrow. He's in southern Utah working right now - supposed to fly home tonight. He worked in Arizona Monday and Tuesday and when he flew back Tues night, he went straight to McKay-Dee hospital for an overnight upgrade. Well, his part of the upgrade never happened (even after he waited around for seven hours), and he came home and went to bed at 5am. He was up again at 8am, then worked overtime at IMC Wednesday night. Poor guy got up at 5 this morning to make his Dixie flight, and now we're both just praying he'll finish working in time to make his flight home and he won't come down with the cold I've had for the last 11 days.
Anyway, doesn't it seem like it would be cruel and unusual punishment to ask him to refinish a dresser tomorrow? I do. I think I'll send him off to spend a leisurely afternoon with his father while I'm at a baby shower instead.
Last night I put together the baby swing my mother bought. It was super easy - I did it all by myself!
We're purposefully accumulating green items so we can use them again if we have a girl the second time around. Earlier yesterday, I scrubbed down and set up the shelves and crib Hill gave us. I still need to wipe down the mattress and wash the bedding sheet and blanket before it's completely ready. We registered for this crib bedding set but then it went on clearance, so we hurried and bought it before it was sold out. Hey, at least we saved 80 bucks on it.
The only other major project to complete before the baby comes is to refinish the dresser. It currently sits in the garage, waiting for Josh to have a free weekend to get it done. It was my mother's mother's dresser, and when my mom inherited it, she painted it white and I used it as a little girl. Now my mother has passed it on to me, but it desperately needs some tlc. The plan is to sand off all the paint, stain it to match a glider a lady gave us, and update the hardware, so it involves a lot of chemicals that I'm not allowed to touch or breathe in as a pregnant woman.But my dear husband has been so busy with work that I don't want to bother him about it tomorrow. He's in southern Utah working right now - supposed to fly home tonight. He worked in Arizona Monday and Tuesday and when he flew back Tues night, he went straight to McKay-Dee hospital for an overnight upgrade. Well, his part of the upgrade never happened (even after he waited around for seven hours), and he came home and went to bed at 5am. He was up again at 8am, then worked overtime at IMC Wednesday night. Poor guy got up at 5 this morning to make his Dixie flight, and now we're both just praying he'll finish working in time to make his flight home and he won't come down with the cold I've had for the last 11 days.
Anyway, doesn't it seem like it would be cruel and unusual punishment to ask him to refinish a dresser tomorrow? I do. I think I'll send him off to spend a leisurely afternoon with his father while I'm at a baby shower instead.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
We quietly celebrated Josh's birthday with a nice dinner to PF Chang's. He didn't want a cake or family or friends or anyone coming over to make a big deal of it - such a quiet guy. "I just want to go out to dinner, just me and you." is what he said, so that's what we did. It's been a very long time since we treated ourselves to our favorite restaurant, and it was sooo yummy. I tried the "Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon Lemon Pepper" this time and absolutely LOVED it. I was hesitant to deviate from my usual lemon chicken, but it was well worth the risk. Josh tried a super-spicy chicken and potato dish on our server's recommendation and was also thrilled with his selection. It was such a pleasant evening out, and Josh said it was the perfect birthday, so I'm calling it a success.
I forgot to ask our server to take our picture, so we rigged this one when we got home: 
Ugh. Apparently, I'm always wearing this same red shirt when it's time to take pictures, and I never realize how big my breasts are until I see myself in photos. So gross! When Josh gets back from Arizona tonight, I'm going to put on a completely non-red shirt and take a recent belly picture. My stomach has really begun bulging out the last two weeks or so; even people are church have commented on my 'little basketball' and that I 'finally look pregnant.' It's pretty exciting!
I've only four weeks to go now - it's definitely the beginning of the end. I have an appointment with my ob tomorrow, and am actually looking forward to it. It's been three weeks since I last saw him, so I'm sure lots has changed.
Ugh. Apparently, I'm always wearing this same red shirt when it's time to take pictures, and I never realize how big my breasts are until I see myself in photos. So gross! When Josh gets back from Arizona tonight, I'm going to put on a completely non-red shirt and take a recent belly picture. My stomach has really begun bulging out the last two weeks or so; even people are church have commented on my 'little basketball' and that I 'finally look pregnant.' It's pretty exciting!I've only four weeks to go now - it's definitely the beginning of the end. I have an appointment with my ob tomorrow, and am actually looking forward to it. It's been three weeks since I last saw him, so I'm sure lots has changed.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Happy Birthday Josh!
And happy Valentine's Day, Father's Day, Anniversary, and Merry Christmas already, too! After giving him this elliptical for his birthday, all gifts are out for the rest of 2008. That goes for me as well. It barely fits in our bedroom, but here is the final product:
(Sorry I forgot to take pics of the construction process, Chris. It didn't turn out to be too difficult to assemble. Josh had it finished in about 2.5 hours, with interruptions. And the $4 IKEA tv turner thing is perfect!)
Josh turns 34 today and in exactly four weeks I'll officially be '30-something' but we're not freaking out just yet. You know how it goes... When you're 18, 30 sounds old. When you're 25, 40 sounds old. But by the time you hit 30+, 50 seems fairly young. Even my 60+ parents don't seem 'old.' My parents still go camping, water-ski, ride Harleys, and work full-time, so it might just be that they're not the norm, but they get the senior discount wherever they go, so they're obviously getting up there.
We got to meet Deidra and see Chris again when we went to dinner with them two nights ago. A good friend of theirs was playing at Gepetto's, and they were kind enough to invite us along.
I loved the atmosphere and Bianca's voice, and really enjoyed getting to know Deidra better. They went to the Jazz game that night, then came down to Riverton and spent the night in our spare bedroom. We got to hang out a little yesterday before they headed back to Logan. Let me tell you...Chris is the perfect guy to have around when you forget to pick up a shopping cart at IKEA or need help unloading a 300-pound elliptical from the back of your minivan! It was great having them over and visiting with them.
In the meantime, new beginnings surround me and I'm wondering why I'm not more stressed out. I start a Nutrition class at UVSC tomorrow at 8am, get a HUGE new Primary class Sunday, and we're going to have a baby in about a month. I feel like I should be freaking out right about now, but I'm not. I don't know if that's a good sign that I'm handling my stress well, or a bad sign that I'm dealing with stress by not acknowledging it at all. I guess we'll see. For now, all I can say with certainty is that I'm not looking forward to driving down to Orem tomorrow morning after tonight's snowstorm. Ugh.
(Sorry I forgot to take pics of the construction process, Chris. It didn't turn out to be too difficult to assemble. Josh had it finished in about 2.5 hours, with interruptions. And the $4 IKEA tv turner thing is perfect!)Josh turns 34 today and in exactly four weeks I'll officially be '30-something' but we're not freaking out just yet. You know how it goes... When you're 18, 30 sounds old. When you're 25, 40 sounds old. But by the time you hit 30+, 50 seems fairly young. Even my 60+ parents don't seem 'old.' My parents still go camping, water-ski, ride Harleys, and work full-time, so it might just be that they're not the norm, but they get the senior discount wherever they go, so they're obviously getting up there.
We got to meet Deidra and see Chris again when we went to dinner with them two nights ago. A good friend of theirs was playing at Gepetto's, and they were kind enough to invite us along.
I loved the atmosphere and Bianca's voice, and really enjoyed getting to know Deidra better. They went to the Jazz game that night, then came down to Riverton and spent the night in our spare bedroom. We got to hang out a little yesterday before they headed back to Logan. Let me tell you...Chris is the perfect guy to have around when you forget to pick up a shopping cart at IKEA or need help unloading a 300-pound elliptical from the back of your minivan! It was great having them over and visiting with them.In the meantime, new beginnings surround me and I'm wondering why I'm not more stressed out. I start a Nutrition class at UVSC tomorrow at 8am, get a HUGE new Primary class Sunday, and we're going to have a baby in about a month. I feel like I should be freaking out right about now, but I'm not. I don't know if that's a good sign that I'm handling my stress well, or a bad sign that I'm dealing with stress by not acknowledging it at all. I guess we'll see. For now, all I can say with certainty is that I'm not looking forward to driving down to Orem tomorrow morning after tonight's snowstorm. Ugh.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Forgotten Carols
After having him around so much the last little while, I've been missing Josh this week. After working late at Utah Valley Tuesday night, he flew down to St. George early Wednesday morning to fix a problem at Dixie. He flew back late that evening, but was up and at 'em again early yesterday and didn't make it home before I left at 7pm to go see The Forgotten Carols for girls' night out.
Last night was the third time I've seen Michael McLean's Christmas production, and it was incredible. While I don't think the Cottonwood High venue is the nicest I've been in, last night's show was perfect. I had never heard of Jordan Bluth before, but wow, what a voice! I had to look up his name in the program about 30 seconds after he began singing, his voice was so striking. His tone is quite rich and powerful - I could easily listen to him all day. I also really liked Kelly Shepardson's voice (Connie Lou) and Michael's wife, Lynne, sang the absolutely beautiful song of Sarah in the maternity ward. It's hard to choose a favorite song out of The Forgotten Carols, but that one will always be in my top three.
Anyway, Josh and I are hoping to spend some quality time together tonight before 10pm rolls around and I'm too tired to make it through the news. We'll probably just hit up RedBox and watch a video as we snuggle by the fireplace after dinner. There are several movies we always intended to see, but never got around to. Shrek 3, We Are Marshall, 300, Superbad, Surf's Up, and Premonition are all currently available. Any recommendations?
Last night was the third time I've seen Michael McLean's Christmas production, and it was incredible. While I don't think the Cottonwood High venue is the nicest I've been in, last night's show was perfect. I had never heard of Jordan Bluth before, but wow, what a voice! I had to look up his name in the program about 30 seconds after he began singing, his voice was so striking. His tone is quite rich and powerful - I could easily listen to him all day. I also really liked Kelly Shepardson's voice (Connie Lou) and Michael's wife, Lynne, sang the absolutely beautiful song of Sarah in the maternity ward. It's hard to choose a favorite song out of The Forgotten Carols, but that one will always be in my top three.
Anyway, Josh and I are hoping to spend some quality time together tonight before 10pm rolls around and I'm too tired to make it through the news. We'll probably just hit up RedBox and watch a video as we snuggle by the fireplace after dinner. There are several movies we always intended to see, but never got around to. Shrek 3, We Are Marshall, 300, Superbad, Surf's Up, and Premonition are all currently available. Any recommendations?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)