Josh works hard - too hard, actually - and I often put him in a pickle about it. Last weekend when he wasn't working for AGFA, he was working on his sister's house, which she's trying to renovate for renters. He even took Thursday off work to help her. And that's where it gets tricky.
You see, I didn't have a single test to study for all last weekend - yay! But even though I was around more, my husband was not. In fact, I saw less of him than I normally would. I was pretty pissed by the time Sunday rolled around, and I finally told him so. The hard part is I admire how hard he works and how giving he is to others (both extremely attractive qualities to me), but if we're both available on a Friday night, why not spring for a sitter and go out for a change?
Oh right, the money. The pickle.
We spent the majority of our savings on the down-payment for our house. The rest of it has slowly been going to my schooling. We're still waiting for the $8k incentive for first-time home buyers, which we'd expected to have before I paid this semester's tuition. Without that cushion, things have started feeling a little tight, and I found out last week that not only will I need to come up with the $4,800 for next semester's tuition by January, I'll also need to pay for my boards exams at the same time - another $2,000. Throw in books and daycare for the month and we're easily out $7,500 in January. Josh asked if I could hear the sound effects of a toilet flushing in the distance when I told him. No wonder he feels the pressure to work so hard to keep his job.
So to my husband, who presently exists in an impossible situation, and will do so until this program is over: thanks babe. You're one in a million. Let's get a Redbox and eat stir-fry for dinner tonight.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I heart my baby
Dearest Grayson,
Thank you so much for being so good during our anniversary dinner last night. I love that everywhere we take you, people rush over to get a better glimpse of your smiling face. You are seriously the best baby I've ever known - so loving, so alert, so cheerful, so smiley. I almost feel guilty that other people don't have the pleasure of having babies just like you. And a special thank you for going to bed early last night and staying asleep until 7am. Not only did Daddy and I get to spend a few uninterrupted hours together, but we didn't pay for it the next morning with sleep-deprivation.
You are the sweetest boy in the world!
Love,
Thank you so much for being so good during our anniversary dinner last night. I love that everywhere we take you, people rush over to get a better glimpse of your smiling face. You are seriously the best baby I've ever known - so loving, so alert, so cheerful, so smiley. I almost feel guilty that other people don't have the pleasure of having babies just like you. And a special thank you for going to bed early last night and staying asleep until 7am. Not only did Daddy and I get to spend a few uninterrupted hours together, but we didn't pay for it the next morning with sleep-deprivation.
You are the sweetest boy in the world!
Love,
Your well-rested Mommy
Charming little fellow
Sweet baby boy
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Cancun recap (finally)
(This post a long one. I'm keeping it that way for posterity's sake. Begin reading at your own risk!)
Woo-hoo! What a great trip! It was so hard leaving Grayson behind (much harder than I thought it would be), but we had a wonderful time recharging in Mexico. The first day was travel and activities with other employees, which only left us two full days to ourselves, but it turned out to be the perfect vacation.
Early Thursday morning we drove up to Don & Holly's to drop Grayson off for our long weekend. You'd think we were going to be gone for months to look at all the things I stuffed into his suitcase, but I wanted to be completely prepared for anything that could happen while we were away. And even though I'd been preparing myself emotionally all week long, I couldn't bear to leave him behind and started crying before I got out the front door. Wouldn't you know I left my pump in the house, though, and had to go back for it? Holly took one look at me and had doubts I was going to be able to leave a second time, I'm such a crybaby now. But somehow I made it out the door yet again and we were off to Salt Lake International.
This is going to disappoint Kory and her Soapbox, but we flew Delta and had an awesome experience doing so. Josh's work ponied up for business class seats on the non-stops between SLC and Cancun and we couldn't have asked for better service! I was simply amazed at how friendly the agents at check-in were. Seriously, they were so nice and good-natured, I wondered if we'd somehow ended up on a Southwest flight instead. The flight attendants cracked jokes with us, and one of them made me a dreamy fruit juice concoction when I asked for an orange-cranberry mix. We did get peanuts on both flights, but that was merely a precursor to full-fledged meals complete with salad, rolls, and dessert. The main entrees tasted pretty good, and there was plenty to fill us up. Overall, we were both very impressed with all aspects of Delta's service. Thanks for two wonderful flights, Delta!
A guy picked us up along with another couple, Ryan and Natalie from Colorado, and took us the hour-long drive to the resort. Josh knew Ryan from an upgrade he had helped with in St. George, so it was easy to strike up a conversation and chat with them during the drive. They left their 2-year-old daughter behind and Natalie is 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, so we spent the majority of the time talking about our children.
The resort was beautiful - it looked just like the pictures on their website. There was a big tree pruned into the shape of a Mexican hat outside our room and it cracked me up every time I walked by. I wish I would have taken a picture. In an exit survey they asked us to fill out, I listed the landscaping as my favorite thing about the resort. And our room was incredible, but again, I didn't think to take any photos. It had all the typical stuff plus a patio and chairs off the back door, ceiling fans and central air, large walk-in closet, a beautiful armoire holding the television, dvd player and stereo, and a fantastic bathroom. French doors separated the rooms, and the bathroom was nearly as large as the bedroom was. It had a jetted bath, separate shower, dual sinks, private toilet, electronic scale and cushy bath robes. My only wish was that they would have provided us slippers as well.
Thursday night was work stuff, but we skipped out a little early to call home and see how Grayson was doing. Holly said Grayson had had a great day with her little family and didn't fuss much at all. She was nice enough to tell us that Grayson smiled when he heard our voices on the phone, so we went to bed relieved that he hadn't already forgotten us.
Friday morning we slept in until 10am. No, that is not a typo - both of us really did get to sleep in until 10 o'clock in the morning. There was no 5:30am feeding. There was no 6:45am alarm waking Josh for work. It. Was. Awesome. I LOVED sleeping in, even though I was beyond engorged and leaking all over the bed when I finally woke up. But that was nothing a Medela pump and new bed sheets couldn't fix and well worth the extra hours of slumber.
We headed up to a late breakfast and came back to soak in the tub for an hour. I haven't had the time to take a bath since way before Grayson was born, and oh, I just loved it. We planned to go snorkeling and kayaking while we were on vacation, but it was so windy we weren't allowed to go out past the wave breakers. Phooey. I was really disappointed because those were really the only things I wanted to do while we were there. But we decided to get some bicycles and ride a couple of miles down to "5th Avenue" to do a little shopping.
We slept in until 10am again Saturday morning. This time we didn't mean to because we really wanted to go up to the breakfast buffet we had missed the day before, so we just skipped breakfast entirely and had an early lunch instead. The good news is that during this early lunch we ran into another couple there with our group, Jesse and Maggie. I love them.
Maggie and I could spend the next 14 years listening to each other's 'work widow' stories about our hubbies leaving town and/or working late, leaving us to entertain the kiddies or attend social functions all alone. Poor us. We ended up spending a great deal of time with them Saturday and it was so nice to meet new people and have real conversation with them (even if all we did was talk about husbands and kiddies). We had a wonderful time with them - eating, playing in the ocean before resort staff kicked us out, painting our pottery, and getting way too sunburned for comfort. My only regret is we didn't get actual photos with them - I only have them on video.
We had another excellent dinner that night, but everyone was too sore with their sunburns to go karaoke-ing again, so we went to bed instead. This is Josh and I at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the restaurant where we dined.
This is me on the staircase alone, because Josh thinks I'm pretty, even if I have a broken leg.
Don't let this happen to you. It may not look too bad in this photo, but it hurt so bad I cried in the shower Sunday and Monday. I have an awesome base tan now for Lake Powell, but trust me, it wasn't worth it.
Ouchy
Woo-hoo! What a great trip! It was so hard leaving Grayson behind (much harder than I thought it would be), but we had a wonderful time recharging in Mexico. The first day was travel and activities with other employees, which only left us two full days to ourselves, but it turned out to be the perfect vacation.
Early Thursday morning we drove up to Don & Holly's to drop Grayson off for our long weekend. You'd think we were going to be gone for months to look at all the things I stuffed into his suitcase, but I wanted to be completely prepared for anything that could happen while we were away. And even though I'd been preparing myself emotionally all week long, I couldn't bear to leave him behind and started crying before I got out the front door. Wouldn't you know I left my pump in the house, though, and had to go back for it? Holly took one look at me and had doubts I was going to be able to leave a second time, I'm such a crybaby now. But somehow I made it out the door yet again and we were off to Salt Lake International.
This is going to disappoint Kory and her Soapbox, but we flew Delta and had an awesome experience doing so. Josh's work ponied up for business class seats on the non-stops between SLC and Cancun and we couldn't have asked for better service! I was simply amazed at how friendly the agents at check-in were. Seriously, they were so nice and good-natured, I wondered if we'd somehow ended up on a Southwest flight instead. The flight attendants cracked jokes with us, and one of them made me a dreamy fruit juice concoction when I asked for an orange-cranberry mix. We did get peanuts on both flights, but that was merely a precursor to full-fledged meals complete with salad, rolls, and dessert. The main entrees tasted pretty good, and there was plenty to fill us up. Overall, we were both very impressed with all aspects of Delta's service. Thanks for two wonderful flights, Delta!
A guy picked us up along with another couple, Ryan and Natalie from Colorado, and took us the hour-long drive to the resort. Josh knew Ryan from an upgrade he had helped with in St. George, so it was easy to strike up a conversation and chat with them during the drive. They left their 2-year-old daughter behind and Natalie is 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy, so we spent the majority of the time talking about our children.
The resort was beautiful - it looked just like the pictures on their website. There was a big tree pruned into the shape of a Mexican hat outside our room and it cracked me up every time I walked by. I wish I would have taken a picture. In an exit survey they asked us to fill out, I listed the landscaping as my favorite thing about the resort. And our room was incredible, but again, I didn't think to take any photos. It had all the typical stuff plus a patio and chairs off the back door, ceiling fans and central air, large walk-in closet, a beautiful armoire holding the television, dvd player and stereo, and a fantastic bathroom. French doors separated the rooms, and the bathroom was nearly as large as the bedroom was. It had a jetted bath, separate shower, dual sinks, private toilet, electronic scale and cushy bath robes. My only wish was that they would have provided us slippers as well.
Thursday night was work stuff, but we skipped out a little early to call home and see how Grayson was doing. Holly said Grayson had had a great day with her little family and didn't fuss much at all. She was nice enough to tell us that Grayson smiled when he heard our voices on the phone, so we went to bed relieved that he hadn't already forgotten us.
Friday morning we slept in until 10am. No, that is not a typo - both of us really did get to sleep in until 10 o'clock in the morning. There was no 5:30am feeding. There was no 6:45am alarm waking Josh for work. It. Was. Awesome. I LOVED sleeping in, even though I was beyond engorged and leaking all over the bed when I finally woke up. But that was nothing a Medela pump and new bed sheets couldn't fix and well worth the extra hours of slumber.
We headed up to a late breakfast and came back to soak in the tub for an hour. I haven't had the time to take a bath since way before Grayson was born, and oh, I just loved it. We planned to go snorkeling and kayaking while we were on vacation, but it was so windy we weren't allowed to go out past the wave breakers. Phooey. I was really disappointed because those were really the only things I wanted to do while we were there. But we decided to get some bicycles and ride a couple of miles down to "5th Avenue" to do a little shopping.
On our way to pick up the bikes 
We spent a lot of time window-shopping and just walking around, but ended up only buying some cooking vanilla, a cute beach bag, and a little dress for my upcoming niece. We headed back to the resort for a late lunch and just lounged around the rest of the evening until dinner. We ate at an Asian restaurant at the resort and the food was sooo yummy. Josh had the best grilled tuna steak I've ever tasted (my salmon was good, too, but that tuna was incredible). There was only one meal we didn't love while we were there, and it was the vegetable lasagna I got for lunch one afternoon. Seriously, though...what was I thinking?
We slept in until 10am again Saturday morning. This time we didn't mean to because we really wanted to go up to the breakfast buffet we had missed the day before, so we just skipped breakfast entirely and had an early lunch instead. The good news is that during this early lunch we ran into another couple there with our group, Jesse and Maggie. I love them.
Maggie and I could spend the next 14 years listening to each other's 'work widow' stories about our hubbies leaving town and/or working late, leaving us to entertain the kiddies or attend social functions all alone. Poor us. We ended up spending a great deal of time with them Saturday and it was so nice to meet new people and have real conversation with them (even if all we did was talk about husbands and kiddies). We had a wonderful time with them - eating, playing in the ocean before resort staff kicked us out, painting our pottery, and getting way too sunburned for comfort. My only regret is we didn't get actual photos with them - I only have them on video.
We had another excellent dinner that night, but everyone was too sore with their sunburns to go karaoke-ing again, so we went to bed instead. This is Josh and I at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the restaurant where we dined.
This is me on the staircase alone, because Josh thinks I'm pretty, even if I have a broken leg.
Don't let this happen to you. It may not look too bad in this photo, but it hurt so bad I cried in the shower Sunday and Monday. I have an awesome base tan now for Lake Powell, but trust me, it wasn't worth it.Ouchy
Monday, May 19, 2008
Wedding Bells, part 3
Nick and Natalie's marriage is the third one I've attended since starting this blog last year. Lucky for me, because I absolutely *love* weddings! Grayson got to make his first public appearance at Alina's wedding back in March, but this was his first temple wedding, and it was warm enough that we got to go outside to take some family pictures.
Waiting for the bride and groom
Reception photo - same day, different clothes
Reception photo - same day, different clothes
Nick and Natalie married in the Salt Lake Temple on May 17 and had one of the most beautiful outdoor receptions I've been to. Natalie nannies for a wonderful family that owns a stunning home way up behind the Capitol Building. You can catch a glimpse of their home's amazing view of the Salt Lake Valley in this cute picture of Josh and Grayson.
Father & Son
Friday, April 4, 2008
Awww...
My husband is so sweet, that when there are just two slices of bread left in the loaf, he'll eat the heel and leave me the last remaining 'normal' slice, even though he eats breakfast first in the morning.
I sure do love him.
And here is a video of our little Chunky Monkey, taken just this morning:
I sure do love him.
And here is a video of our little Chunky Monkey, taken just this morning:
Monday, October 22, 2007
Stake Conference
Our stake was one that got invited to attend the multi-stake stake conference gathering at the Conference Center yesterday. Although tired from arising early in order to get downtown, find parking, and secure a decent seat (pregnant women need an aisle for the least-disturbing bathroom access possible), we were thrilled with the conference and very happy we made the effort to attend.
While I enjoyed all the talks (although the two boys behind me prevented me from hearing the majority of President Packer's talk), I especially loved President Hinckley's talk. He spoke of marriage, and the duties each spouse has toward the other in making a marriage successful. Neither spouse is exempt from loving and respecting the other, forgiving him or her, or working on the union. It was nice to hear a friendly reminder that marriage requires work. I remember attending my singles' wards and there was so much emphasis on marriage it seemed that was all we needed to finally be complete. However, in my own marriage, I have learned it's merely the beginning to an entirely new chapter in life.
Josh and I have had our ups and downs together, although I dare say we've had many more ups (knock on wood). During the talk, I kept thinking of how lucky I am to have Josh. I know he loves me and treats me the way I deserve, even better! He speaks a quiet truth, and he has never held himself above me as "the man of the house." I know he listens to me and that we have an equal say in family decisions. He freely compliments me, and in turn, I want to please him even more. I am so grateful for him, his patience, his work ethic, and his standard of living. He is an incredible man.
I'm especially grateful for our love for each other now that we'll be welcoming our first child into our home. I'm pleased that our son will grow up knowing that he is wanted, loved, and that his parents have a real commitment to one another. I pray every day that God will see fit to continue blessing us as He has these last two years. I don't know what I did to deserve such happiness, but I hope I keep it up.
While I enjoyed all the talks (although the two boys behind me prevented me from hearing the majority of President Packer's talk), I especially loved President Hinckley's talk. He spoke of marriage, and the duties each spouse has toward the other in making a marriage successful. Neither spouse is exempt from loving and respecting the other, forgiving him or her, or working on the union. It was nice to hear a friendly reminder that marriage requires work. I remember attending my singles' wards and there was so much emphasis on marriage it seemed that was all we needed to finally be complete. However, in my own marriage, I have learned it's merely the beginning to an entirely new chapter in life.
Josh and I have had our ups and downs together, although I dare say we've had many more ups (knock on wood). During the talk, I kept thinking of how lucky I am to have Josh. I know he loves me and treats me the way I deserve, even better! He speaks a quiet truth, and he has never held himself above me as "the man of the house." I know he listens to me and that we have an equal say in family decisions. He freely compliments me, and in turn, I want to please him even more. I am so grateful for him, his patience, his work ethic, and his standard of living. He is an incredible man.
I'm especially grateful for our love for each other now that we'll be welcoming our first child into our home. I'm pleased that our son will grow up knowing that he is wanted, loved, and that his parents have a real commitment to one another. I pray every day that God will see fit to continue blessing us as He has these last two years. I don't know what I did to deserve such happiness, but I hope I keep it up.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Two great years, baby
Today marks two years since Josh and I were married in the St. George Temple. Here is a picture of Josh stepping on the back of my dress on our way out of the temple. Even though they're horribly embarrassing, I love these candid shots!
We decided to celebrate today by packing and cleaning some more of our house. We just took down our bed, wrapped the mattresses and hauled them out to the garage for 'the big move' this weekend, so we're going to sleep on the Aerobed downstairs in the living room tonight. I'm so excited! Downstairs is much cooler and darker than the upstairs, so it should make for a wonderful evening, even if we are sleeping on a glorified air mattress.
To celebrate our anniversary for real, though, we finally treated ourselves to the Bodies exhibit at the Tropicana. I've really wanted to go since I started my A&P classes and it was as incredible as I thought it would be. One of my favorite things was seeing the small intestine laid out in its full length. I mean, it's one thing to learn that it is 18-22 feet long, but it's quite another to actually see it. The human body is so amazing. The most amazing part (but saddest, too) was the fetal development section where we got to see exactly what our baby looks like inside my tummy! For anyone that's considering going, do it! And the audio tour is definitely worth the extra six bucks.
We decided to celebrate today by packing and cleaning some more of our house. We just took down our bed, wrapped the mattresses and hauled them out to the garage for 'the big move' this weekend, so we're going to sleep on the Aerobed downstairs in the living room tonight. I'm so excited! Downstairs is much cooler and darker than the upstairs, so it should make for a wonderful evening, even if we are sleeping on a glorified air mattress.To celebrate our anniversary for real, though, we finally treated ourselves to the Bodies exhibit at the Tropicana. I've really wanted to go since I started my A&P classes and it was as incredible as I thought it would be. One of my favorite things was seeing the small intestine laid out in its full length. I mean, it's one thing to learn that it is 18-22 feet long, but it's quite another to actually see it. The human body is so amazing. The most amazing part (but saddest, too) was the fetal development section where we got to see exactly what our baby looks like inside my tummy! For anyone that's considering going, do it! And the audio tour is definitely worth the extra six bucks.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
My Josh
Josh is so dreamy.
I had a hard time sleeping the other night and he came in and started rubbing my feet without giving it a second thought. He lets me interrupt his work to ask him trivial questions just because they're important to me. He drives for hours every weekend to spend what time he can with me. He tolerates my inability to fix the hole in his work pants and doubles up wearing his others instead. He's selling his extra 'geek ware' on Craigslist so we don't have to haul it all to SLC. He lets me rest my head on his shoulder during sacrament meeting and strokes my hair. He understands when I need to be by him, even if I just want to sit there and not say anything. He lets me sleep when we're driving at night, even though it means he's no one to talk to. He works his tail off to meet our financial obligations and allow me plenty of time to earn good grades in my classes. He drove all over, finding the perfect spot for us to watch some fireworks for our first and last Fourth of July in Vegas. He lets me run off to play with my nieces and nephews instead of spending time with him at my family get-togethers. He understands my fuse is a bit shorter than his but doesn't hold it against me. He doesn't complain when it takes me too long to scrub the shower and the soap scum starts taking over. He always looks for something nice to say about me, and then he says it.
If Josh read my blog, he'd be so embarrassed that I've rambled on about him so - even though there are a million more little things he does and says that melt my heart every day. I hope all of you are as lucky in love as I am.
I had a hard time sleeping the other night and he came in and started rubbing my feet without giving it a second thought. He lets me interrupt his work to ask him trivial questions just because they're important to me. He drives for hours every weekend to spend what time he can with me. He tolerates my inability to fix the hole in his work pants and doubles up wearing his others instead. He's selling his extra 'geek ware' on Craigslist so we don't have to haul it all to SLC. He lets me rest my head on his shoulder during sacrament meeting and strokes my hair. He understands when I need to be by him, even if I just want to sit there and not say anything. He lets me sleep when we're driving at night, even though it means he's no one to talk to. He works his tail off to meet our financial obligations and allow me plenty of time to earn good grades in my classes. He drove all over, finding the perfect spot for us to watch some fireworks for our first and last Fourth of July in Vegas. He lets me run off to play with my nieces and nephews instead of spending time with him at my family get-togethers. He understands my fuse is a bit shorter than his but doesn't hold it against me. He doesn't complain when it takes me too long to scrub the shower and the soap scum starts taking over. He always looks for something nice to say about me, and then he says it.
If Josh read my blog, he'd be so embarrassed that I've rambled on about him so - even though there are a million more little things he does and says that melt my heart every day. I hope all of you are as lucky in love as I am.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Saddy-head
I am just so mad at Josh right now. Actually, I'm not mad, I'm really sad. Sad and disappointed and frustrated.
I could go on and on about how I've now taken five classes at CCSN that aren't needed at UVSC, and about how I now need two classes from UVSC that weren't required at CCSN, and how I now have to pay non-resident tuition, and how I still can't register for fall semester because Jan at ext. 7196 won't call me back, and how sucky it will be to finish my summer class here on August 2 and start up there August 22, and how my chances of getting accepted into the program will now drop from 1:2 to 1:5, and how now I don't foresee any available time to visit Isaac & Shama in Texas or go see Jeddy in NY...
But mostly what I feel is sad and lonely because he's been gone for so long. I wish we could live like normal 30-something's. I wish he came home for dinner every night and didn't give so much of his personal time to his job. I wish we had a house payment and planned big annual family vacations. I wish we were friends with our neighbors and went on walks together in the evenings. I wish we did fun stuff on Saturdays instead of doing errands around the house. I wish he would worry about me and our future instead of his parents'. Mostly I wish I was a mom that had children to raise instead of giving them away. I know that's not fair because it's not his fault, but it still makes me sad, and I feel cheated for us not being able to start our family yet.
I could go on and on about how I've now taken five classes at CCSN that aren't needed at UVSC, and about how I now need two classes from UVSC that weren't required at CCSN, and how I now have to pay non-resident tuition, and how I still can't register for fall semester because Jan at ext. 7196 won't call me back, and how sucky it will be to finish my summer class here on August 2 and start up there August 22, and how my chances of getting accepted into the program will now drop from 1:2 to 1:5, and how now I don't foresee any available time to visit Isaac & Shama in Texas or go see Jeddy in NY...
But mostly what I feel is sad and lonely because he's been gone for so long. I wish we could live like normal 30-something's. I wish he came home for dinner every night and didn't give so much of his personal time to his job. I wish we had a house payment and planned big annual family vacations. I wish we were friends with our neighbors and went on walks together in the evenings. I wish we did fun stuff on Saturdays instead of doing errands around the house. I wish he would worry about me and our future instead of his parents'. Mostly I wish I was a mom that had children to raise instead of giving them away. I know that's not fair because it's not his fault, but it still makes me sad, and I feel cheated for us not being able to start our family yet.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wedding Bells
Jamie got married on Saturday. My lifelong friend and debate partner finally tied the knot! The ceremony was beautiful and the reception rocked, but mostly she and Chad looked so happy together that it melted my heart. I am so excited for her and wish her a lifetime of marital bliss! 
Josh and I at the dinner reception. The reception was at The Point, and for those of you that know, the view from way up there is breath-taking, but none of my pictures did it justice.
As fun as the wedding and reception were, the real party started back at Don's house, when I got to play with some of 'my kids'. I love these rascals, even when they don't "touch me a little more softly" - you sick woman, Rach!
Josh and I at the dinner reception. The reception was at The Point, and for those of you that know, the view from way up there is breath-taking, but none of my pictures did it justice.
As fun as the wedding and reception were, the real party started back at Don's house, when I got to play with some of 'my kids'. I love these rascals, even when they don't "touch me a little more softly" - you sick woman, Rach!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Happy again!
My depression is over. It was real, though, and very hard on me. I don't think Josh realized how sad I was, so it didn't seem to affect him too badly. Moving helped, though. Getting rid of this weird allergic reaction I had to Las Vegas really helped me, too.
Just getting to know and understand my role as wife and 'homemaker' is what helped the most. I didn't have a job, children, or a real direction in life, so I was bored and felt useless. Then we moved the end of November and I got to go through boxes, throw stuff away, and clean clean clean! I hung up some paintings, made up a guest room, and am patiently organizing our two worlds into one. I had stuff stored in my parents' attic that I haven't looked at for more than 5 years. There is still much to do, but it's coming along. I travel with Josh when he goes out of town for work, and spend a lot of time helping my mom clean her house when we're up there.
Yay for me! I'm busy! I'm accomplishing things! I clean and organize the house, wash the laundry, cook meals, and entertain friends and guests. These are my duties now, and for now, they are enough. I realize they won't be enough forever, but I'm certain they will change as I change. I feel appreciated, I feel loved, and I feel needed. As of right now, my life is complete and I couldn't be happier.
Just getting to know and understand my role as wife and 'homemaker' is what helped the most. I didn't have a job, children, or a real direction in life, so I was bored and felt useless. Then we moved the end of November and I got to go through boxes, throw stuff away, and clean clean clean! I hung up some paintings, made up a guest room, and am patiently organizing our two worlds into one. I had stuff stored in my parents' attic that I haven't looked at for more than 5 years. There is still much to do, but it's coming along. I travel with Josh when he goes out of town for work, and spend a lot of time helping my mom clean her house when we're up there.
Yay for me! I'm busy! I'm accomplishing things! I clean and organize the house, wash the laundry, cook meals, and entertain friends and guests. These are my duties now, and for now, they are enough. I realize they won't be enough forever, but I'm certain they will change as I change. I feel appreciated, I feel loved, and I feel needed. As of right now, my life is complete and I couldn't be happier.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
ps...Married!
Oh, my, my. I got married September 2. 'Tis true that I, a 28-year-old commitment-phobe, finally agreed to live life for someone else. I'm no longer single - no singleness in decisions, in finances, in family, or in goals. Change is coming so quickly and the inevitability of it makes me feel trapped. I put in a notice of my intent to leave SkyWest at the end of the month. Josh already lives in our small apartment in Vegas, and I'll join him sometime next week. But who will I meet and befriend when I finally live there? What kind of job should I get? How long will we stay there? I am more scared than ever of what life now holds. I have so many questions that can only be answered with "We'll see."
Life has been treating me well, though. Our 5-month engagement was filled with laughter and good times. Our honeymoon cruise to the Eastern Caribbean was incredibly fun, and I delighted in the love and support of many people I cherish at our wedding celebrations. I am literally the princess of Josh's world. He will do anything for me if I only ask it of him. I don't believe I've been loved with such intensity by any other.
Life has been treating me well, though. Our 5-month engagement was filled with laughter and good times. Our honeymoon cruise to the Eastern Caribbean was incredibly fun, and I delighted in the love and support of many people I cherish at our wedding celebrations. I am literally the princess of Josh's world. He will do anything for me if I only ask it of him. I don't believe I've been loved with such intensity by any other.
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