I kept an intermittent blog on xanga.com a few years back, and thought to update it today with my thoughts about and reaction to the Virginia Tech shooting rampage. I heard this site is more user-friendly, though, so I decided to join ranks here instead and try to keep all y'all updated on some impending changes to my life.
UPDATE:
I just disovered blogger will let me change the dates of my posts, so I'm going to copy all the posts I had on xanga onto this site. It will be a fairly complete journal except for the entries I have on my hard drive, English notebook, and travel journal. How exciting!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Monday, January 23, 2006
Happy again!
My depression is over. It was real, though, and very hard on me. I don't think Josh realized how sad I was, so it didn't seem to affect him too badly. Moving helped, though. Getting rid of this weird allergic reaction I had to Las Vegas really helped me, too.
Just getting to know and understand my role as wife and 'homemaker' is what helped the most. I didn't have a job, children, or a real direction in life, so I was bored and felt useless. Then we moved the end of November and I got to go through boxes, throw stuff away, and clean clean clean! I hung up some paintings, made up a guest room, and am patiently organizing our two worlds into one. I had stuff stored in my parents' attic that I haven't looked at for more than 5 years. There is still much to do, but it's coming along. I travel with Josh when he goes out of town for work, and spend a lot of time helping my mom clean her house when we're up there.
Yay for me! I'm busy! I'm accomplishing things! I clean and organize the house, wash the laundry, cook meals, and entertain friends and guests. These are my duties now, and for now, they are enough. I realize they won't be enough forever, but I'm certain they will change as I change. I feel appreciated, I feel loved, and I feel needed. As of right now, my life is complete and I couldn't be happier.
Just getting to know and understand my role as wife and 'homemaker' is what helped the most. I didn't have a job, children, or a real direction in life, so I was bored and felt useless. Then we moved the end of November and I got to go through boxes, throw stuff away, and clean clean clean! I hung up some paintings, made up a guest room, and am patiently organizing our two worlds into one. I had stuff stored in my parents' attic that I haven't looked at for more than 5 years. There is still much to do, but it's coming along. I travel with Josh when he goes out of town for work, and spend a lot of time helping my mom clean her house when we're up there.
Yay for me! I'm busy! I'm accomplishing things! I clean and organize the house, wash the laundry, cook meals, and entertain friends and guests. These are my duties now, and for now, they are enough. I realize they won't be enough forever, but I'm certain they will change as I change. I feel appreciated, I feel loved, and I feel needed. As of right now, my life is complete and I couldn't be happier.
Friday, October 7, 2005
unhappy
I've been depressed the last while. Something is wrong with my emotional state - something beyond my control. I would fault my birth control, but I think that's a copout.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
ps...Married!
Oh, my, my. I got married September 2. 'Tis true that I, a 28-year-old commitment-phobe, finally agreed to live life for someone else. I'm no longer single - no singleness in decisions, in finances, in family, or in goals. Change is coming so quickly and the inevitability of it makes me feel trapped. I put in a notice of my intent to leave SkyWest at the end of the month. Josh already lives in our small apartment in Vegas, and I'll join him sometime next week. But who will I meet and befriend when I finally live there? What kind of job should I get? How long will we stay there? I am more scared than ever of what life now holds. I have so many questions that can only be answered with "We'll see."
Life has been treating me well, though. Our 5-month engagement was filled with laughter and good times. Our honeymoon cruise to the Eastern Caribbean was incredibly fun, and I delighted in the love and support of many people I cherish at our wedding celebrations. I am literally the princess of Josh's world. He will do anything for me if I only ask it of him. I don't believe I've been loved with such intensity by any other.
Life has been treating me well, though. Our 5-month engagement was filled with laughter and good times. Our honeymoon cruise to the Eastern Caribbean was incredibly fun, and I delighted in the love and support of many people I cherish at our wedding celebrations. I am literally the princess of Josh's world. He will do anything for me if I only ask it of him. I don't believe I've been loved with such intensity by any other.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Odds
Jeddy saw my Amanda at the Spaghetti Factory Friday night. The one time I leave my phone on the charger at work, I happen to miss one of the most important calls of my life. I could have been there. I would have been there. In a heartbeat. If only I hadn't forgotten my phone. If only I'd gotten back to the office and retrieved the messages earlier. I could have waited in the lounge area and tried not to stare as they left the restaurant. I could have nonchalantly scoped them out from within the restaurant walls as I nibbled on spaghetti noodles and Mizithra cheese. I could have meandered through the halls of Trolley Square until they left and then tailed them outside, watching her soft blonde hair sway back and forth as her little legs carried her out to the car.
But instead I was at a Polynesian wedding buffet of people I didn't know and cared nothing for. Instead, I sat there, holding back vomit as the woman at the table in front of mine ripped the neck from the pig's head that lay before her. Instead, I was driving Doug all over Hell's half-acre, running errands with him. Doug, my best guy friend, who could only say later, "There is no way I could ever make that up to you, Paige. I'm sorry." And he's right.
But instead I was at a Polynesian wedding buffet of people I didn't know and cared nothing for. Instead, I sat there, holding back vomit as the woman at the table in front of mine ripped the neck from the pig's head that lay before her. Instead, I was driving Doug all over Hell's half-acre, running errands with him. Doug, my best guy friend, who could only say later, "There is no way I could ever make that up to you, Paige. I'm sorry." And he's right.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)