What's That?

Just had to throw a little update in here because I'm so infatuated with my son.

Grayson walks all around the house/store/church/etc. and constantly stops to point at something and ask "What's that?" only it sounds more like "Whu ta?" I'll answer him with either a long drawn-out explanation or a short one-word response, but no matter what I say, he cocks his head a little like he's really listening to me and then repeats the last word I said. He even inflects his voice up at the end of the sentence like he's not sure he understood me correctly. It's just so dang cute! He's been repeating things for a while now, but lately he's gotten really good at actually communicating with us. Just Saturday morning we all ended up in our bed and Grayson said his first three-word sentence: "I love Daddy," accompanied with all three signs. He tries to say the ABC's by himself but I have to jump in to give him a little a slew of guidance (he tries to sign the letters too - it's so cute). He parrots the books we read together and my phone conversations. He repeated two lines of our prayers tonight. He is such an adorable little boy!

20 months would be my absolute favorite new age except he's also begun to throw fits when I don't give him what he wants. Example: "No Grayson, you cannot have the knife; Mommy will cut the apple for you." His response: tears of abandonment accompanied by a literal meltdown until he's on the floor and banging his head against something. But it is so so cute how he always rubs my back when we embrace, says "uh-oh" when he purposefully drops something on the ground, hunts for things with his hand on his forehead, shoulders shrugged down, and toes on their tips, and 'jumps' as high as he can. Oh, he just melts my heart.

Dang, I need to be better about pulling out the camera to catch these little moments.

Like a Bee

Wow, am I busy as of late. School really has me hopping. Couple it with Josh's upgrade schedule and all of the equipment problems that ensue, thereby requiring even more of his time and attention on weekends, and it's a wonder I ever actually finish something - cooking, cleaning, studying, playing. And sometimes I don't. Somehow I'm managing to surround myself with just enough of the organized chaos that I've not yet gone completely crazy, but I don't know how I'm doing it.

It gets frustrating that I simply can't find the time to scrub the floor the way I used to. The dishes wait a day to be cleaned now and the last load of laundry often sits in the dryer for a few days before I finally drag them out to fold (and that's usually only because we finally need those clothes back in circulation). I can't remember the last time I spent an hour pulling weeds in the yard, and there has been no jam-making or bread-baking since the program started. It's still uncomfortable to be living like this. Sadly, I feel like I've switched from flourishing mode to strictly surviving.

I don't know why I didn't think my program would require this much time, but I just didn't. Josh groaned the other day when I mentioned I had to study for another test - it seems there's always a test, and there usually is. At least one test per week, sometimes more. The weekends are invaluable for me. Instead of getting household chores completed, I take off to the library for several hours and study in relative peace while my saintly husband wrangles the kid and tries to get the yard work done. But I didn't get my last two Saturdays (Josh was working - Sundays, too) so I've gotten a bit behind in my studies. Things aren't looking up for this weekend, either, and I'll be taking the hardest test to date next Monday.

*sigh*

I really miss my son. We used to play so often. We'd play outside, have lunch in the yard and swing afterward, read book after book after book before naptime, practice signing together, play the piano together, make my bed together. I realized this last weekend that I have to consciously force myself not to hurry him along, pick him up and carry him instead of letting him go at his own pace. I force myself to read a book with him before bedtime and laugh at his antics instead of shushing him. I no longer let him help me fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher - it takes too long. I leave him in his room for as long as possible every morning, just trying to get in one more minute of sleep or study. For some reason, I've placed Grayson last on my list of things worth spending time on. Now that my time is so valuable, he's become even less so. It broke my heart to realize it.

That's not the kind of mom I want Grayson to have, and that's not the kind of mom I want to be. So I started changing today. We had fun when we got home from school and day care. We danced to the radio, including our favorite, "If I Could Turn Back Time", and he practiced his latest move - 'jumping' in place - for at least 20 minutes. He helped me empty the garbage, and we mated socks together. It was so much better than waiting until after he'd gone to sleep to do it. I didn't open a single book tonight, didn't fill out a single flash card. I have a quiz tomorrow and a test on Wednesday, but you know what? Meriting a "B" is going to get me the same degree earning an "A" will, so as long as I know my stuff and pass my boards, I'm not going to sweat it if the primary molars have oblique ridges or not. I have more important things, and people, to spend my time on.

Shu, shu

Grayson is completely obsessed with shoes as of late. He'll meander throughout the house signing and saying "shoes" and then put his finger to his lips and say "hmm" like he's trying to remember where he left them. Then he promptly fetches them from their place by the door and brings them to me to help put them on his naked feet. Immediately thereafter, he retrieves *my* shoes from their respective spot alongside his, and insists that I put them on *my* naked feet. If I manage to slip them off and hide them from him, he simply finds another pair, brings them to me, and recites "shoes" over and over again until I put them on out of frustration to get him to leave me and the blasted shoes alone. And if you're wondering, yes, I have worn Josh's shoes on several occasions.

I thought things would simply go on this way for a while until he learns to put them on completely by himself, but tonight he threw a wrench into the system - he went to bed actually holding his shoes. He had one in each hand and he never let go. He wouldn't even drop them for a drink of water or to cuddle his frog. I only just now took them away as he's been sleeping for nearly two hours and I thought it would be safe to do so. Bummer I didn't think to take a picture first. It was quite humorous to see.

School is going wonderfully for me, but home life is still a little chaotic. I take the bus down to campus most days, so I have to get up extra early to drop Gray off at day care and still have time to park my car and get to the bus stop. It's working out for the most part so far, but he's an absolute beast some mornings and it's all I can do to get him strapped in to his car seat without beating him into submission. We were running so late this morning I had to drive down to campus instead. Most mornings go off without a hitch, though, so I can't really complain. I just wish Josh's schedule allowed him to drop Grayson off once in a while. All those early mornings in a row get brutal by week's end.

Other than that, things are the same. Josh is still a work-addicted provider; Grayson is still deliciously adorable and jaw-clenchingly frustrating all at the same time; and I'm still dwelling on the stupid mistake I made on my first test that merited me an A- instead of an A. Boo! At least I'll never forget what kind of cementoenamel junction is the most prevalent, right? It's overlap, fyi. Stupid, stupid mistake. We're anxiously awaiting word about a dreamy short-sale we put an offer on months ago. It's a bit expensive, but it's basically Josh's dream home, so we threw our hats into the ring. The bank has since done the BPO and has been reviewing the offers since last Friday, so we hope to hear something by next week.

PS - The worst mistake you could ever make it to list your home with the Prudential Real Estate team at the South Vally office in Draper, Utah. An especially bad move would be to involve Cheryl Staley in any part of the transaction. If you need details, just let me know. Otherwise, take my word for it and FIND A DIFFERENT AGENT!

True Love

I ♥ my dental hygiene program.
I ♥ a husband who brings me flowers for our anniversary, even when I completely forgot about it (sorry babe).
I ♥ a clean home and a relaxed mind.
I ♥ evening walks with my family with no particular place to go.
I ♥ secret lunches with my insignificant other.
I ♥ holidays that mean no school for me, and no work for Josh. It's like a mini-vacation!
I ♥ pushing my son on the swing set, helping him pick fresh tomatoes from the garden, and the way he still giggles at peek-a-boo.
I ♥ parades and am so excited to watch one on Saturday!

But I mostly love my sweet baby who is growing up too dang fast and becoming more independent every day. Grayson signs so many words now, and he parrots everything I say. He's become really good at pronouncing his 'k' sound - rock, stuck, etc. He got a haircut last week (pics on a camera somewhere) and it's horribly short. He looked like he was going to enlist that very day. Gray now has all of his primary teeth except his four second molars which, coupled with his haircut, make him look like a little boy instead of a baby. It would be sad but he's still such a handsome little fella. I can hardly take my eyes off of him.

Grayson is already 19 months old and wow, do I remember that bald little head shining up at me just like it was yesterday. I miss him a lot when I'm at school, but Josh and I are very thankful we even have this opportunity to make strides toward creating a better situation for our family in the future. One day he'll divorce AGFA and pursue something less stressful and more personally rewarding. In the meantime, though, life is good. We have no complaints.

I ♥ my life.

Long time, no post

I just don't seem to have enough time in the day to post on this blog after I check my email. How can that be? I'm not exactly sure, but if it means Gray's a little happier and my house is a little cleaner, it's well worth the time spent offline. A quick update while the kiddie naps.

Boat ride, July 29, 2009

Grayson: Turned 18 months old yesterday! Ate his first hot dog at Lake Powell this last week and sadly, he liked it. Also tried his first soda pop (root beer) and liked it. Latest growth spurt must be over because his appetite has gone way down. Will sign to me that he's tired but then won't go to sleep. When I tell him he's being silly, he signs that to me instead. Such a smart and funny boy. Gives great back scratches, loves looking for birds through the windows, and climbs like a monkey. Attended nursery for the first time last Sunday and the ladies in there told Josh he was very well-behaved and quite 'durable' (apparently that means he let the older kids push him over, take his toys, and merely got up to go get something else instead of throwing a fit). My great baby is becoming a good little boy.

Josh: Work- work- working to keep himself recession-proof and doing a fine job of it. Missed out on a great vacation in order to keep the peace between AGFA and IHC. Everyone loves him, me especially. What a saint!

Me: Dental hygiene program pre-req's - check. CPR and first aid certifications - check. Dental hygienist observation hours - check. Tooth molds for dental anatomy class - check. Scrubs - check. Still need books, updated immunizations, and a long-sleeved lab coat.

People ask me all the time if I'm getting excited for the dental hygiene program to start. Honestly, I am not. I'm still enjoying the summer break right now! And I'm worried about moving and about who's going to take care of Gray while I'm in class. Life would be so much easier if we could just find the perfect house and get settled into it before classes begin August 26. We've placed two offers on short sales, but those can take forever, so we're still looking. The upside is there isn't much activity on the house we're presently renting, so every day it doesn't sell is another day we can save more money (20% down + fall semester's tuition is stressing me out). Good times ahead!

Anyway, my summer has been consumed with Grayson, vacations, and school preparations. I'm loving it!