Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Final Countdown!

I have been accused of purposefully neglecting my blog in an attempt to make all y'all believe that I've gone into labor and had the baby already. Let me assure you, that is not the case. At all. The short of it is that I'm not progressing (guess he's too comfy in there) and am now scheduled for an induction on Monday, February 4. That's only five days away. I will definitely have a baby in the next five days, and can hardly believe it. This is madness!

The good news is that over the last week I have scrubbed my entire house and it's completely ready for the baby's arrival, we found the perfect dresser at IKEA for only $60 (gotta love the boxes that get sent to the 'As-Is' section just because the packaging is dented!), and I found the best bra ever - I just wish I would have had it during the entire pregnancy and not just these last two weeks. The bad news is that we still don't have a name for the kid and he has to come on the doc's terms instead of his own. I've been very sad all day today, but I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. Right?

PS - If you're interested, here is the long of it (as told in an email to family members):

"I had another ob appt today and still no progression. The doc thinks I'm four days past my due date (stupid science) so we had to schedule an induction in case I don't go into labor in the next couple of days. He said he would let me go two weeks past due if I came in every few days for a stress test and an ultrasound to check my placenta and amniotic fluid level, starting Monday. My doc did a mini-ultrasound today to check my amniotic fluid. It is low, but not dangerously, but he commented that if today were Monday and that was my level, he would want to induce me right then. So rather than schedule an appt for the stress test and ultrasound on Monday, we just scheduled the induction for that day instead. I guess the kid's birthday will be February 4.

I'm really disappointed because I didn't want to rush this baby out before he was done cooking, especially with lungs being the last to fully develop and it being RSV season and a yucky winter, but que sera, sera. We've also decided that I will go ahead with an epidural because induction labor hurts a hell of a lot more than a naturally developing labor.

That's it! Call or email us with any questions. Only five more days and 'Baby Boy G' will be born!"

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Normal(?) again

Thanks for letting me feel sorry for myself and vent a little in the last two posts. Thankfully, my spirits are way up since last time. Little did I know that while I was in the office typing off my pregnancy frustrations Sunday night, my sweet husband was in the kitchen preparing me a delicious dinner of pasta and sauce with steamed chicken and peppers. So yummy! He even did the dishes afterward, and rubbed my back when we went to bed. Such a good man I have.

Here's proof that I really *have* gotten huge in the last couple of weeks. It's not a great photo, but sometimes you just have to take pics with what's available.
Only two weeks to go!!
And even though it sounds like it, it hasn't been all bad. I drove up to Bountiful last Wednesday to meet up with my good friend, Juli, for lunch. I haven't seen her since she came down to Vegas to try out for Nashville Star in 2006. She made the first call-back on that audition, but didn't make it to the TV show. It's really too bad because she has such a beautiful voice. Anyway, here we are at her office:Then on Saturday night, Josh and I went out with my dear friend, Amanda, and her husband Tony. We did an early session at the temple (figured we'd better get one more in before the kid comes) and went to dinner afterward. It was so nice to catch up with them, and we had a fantastic evening. I didn't think to take my camera along for a photo op, so we'll have to go out with them again soon.

Finally, Lacie came over yesterday to help me recover the cushions on a glider a nice woman gave me for the nursery. I was supposed to go up to her house, but with all the snow that fell for about seven hours yesterday, there was no way my car was going to get out of the driveway. So she drove her sweet self all the way down here and spent a couple of hours keeping me sane while I was trapped inside the house.
Lacie is such a good friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. The new cushion covers look sooo good! I wish I had thought to take a 'before' picture as proof, but I promise that this looks much MUCH better than the old blue material with pink specks in the pattern.
One day when it warms up, Josh is going to sand the glider down and stain it to match the dresser. Our baby's room is going to look so classy!

And I need to get the pictures from my awesome neighbors who were kind and generous enough to throw me a baby shower Saturday afternoon, even though we're so new in the area. Two women came that I hadn't even met yet! I can't believe the amount of genuine love and support that Josh and I have felt since moving back to Utah. We both just feel so blessed to have made the decision to come back, and it's nice to get that confirmation that we made a good choice.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Rant

I finally realize why women are so bitchy at the end of their pregnancies and why they just want the baby out, regardless if it's time or not.

I have reached that point. I am getting HUGE (totally ballooned in the last 2-3 weeks), I've already gained 30 pounds, the baby's feet are constantly in my ribs, I wake at least 3 times/night to pee (or I wake to the baby's hiccups) and then I just lie there, trying to fall back asleep.
I woke shortly after 3am Saturday morning and was wide awake until well after 5am. It was just awful. I was *so* tired for my class that morning (but thank goodness there wasn't a huge snowstorm I had to drive through to get down there). I rarely find a comfy position to sleep/sit/stand/walk in anymore, my heartburn and gas are worse than ever before, and the kids in my primary class were so bad today that I'm presently regretting my decision to bring more children into the world. I'm too awkward to shave my legs very well, my tummy is super itchy, my back is always sore, and people treat me like I'm disabled. I'm really not looking forward to another two weeks of alla this.

But the crummiest part is that things won't magically be better after he's born.
I don't sleep now, but I'm not going to sleep after he comes, with feedings and diaper changes. Learning to breast-feed is going to be its own adventure, and I'll be worrying about his weight gain instead of my own. Instead of regular trips to the ob, it'll be regular trips to the pediatrician. When the baby comes, I've been advised to hermit myself at home until the end of March to lessen the chance of him catching RSV. Josh is going to have to start traveling a bunch again for work a few weeks after he's born, so it'll be just me and the kid a lot of the time. Cabin fever, anyone?

And I can't stop thinking about how bad my Primary kids were today.
I have a partner, April, who was gone last week and I was totally fine (eight months pregnant and I handled six 5-year-olds beautifully, all by myself!). Well, we were both there today, and could barely keep a handle on them, even though we only had six there again today. I shudder to think who I would have killed had all nine of them showed up.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Freaking out

Josh got home around 6pm from work last night and I had baby clothes scattered throughout the house. They were everywhere. They covered the sofa and love seat, some living room floor, our bed, the baby's crib, and the kitchen table. I inherited most of them from my sister's two boys, but got some nice new stuff at my shower as well, so I washed it all yesterday in preparation for the kid's arrival. I have lots o' clothes from newborn to six months that I want to keep available because I have no idea what's going to fit our little guy when he comes. That, and some stuff looks awfully teeny for the size listed on the tag.

Anyway, Josh looked around but didn't say anything. I cleared him a spot for his laptop on the coffee table and asked him when he thought we could refinish the dresser. Turns out the paint stripper we got recommends use in temperatures between 65-85 F. It hasn't been that warm here for at least three months! So I disappointedly agreed to just use the dresser as is for right now, and we'll refinish it later when it's warmed up outside. I'm going to clean it up as best I can today, but I can't help but be so sad that it's not going to look all fresh and new for the baby. I'm still going to look for some new hardware right now, though.

About an hour later, after he was done exercising, he came into the kitchen while I was making dinner and asked me how I thought things were coming along. I asked if he was talking about baby things or if I was missing something. Yes, he was talking about baby preparation...was there anything I wanted him to be doing that he wasn't? I told him no, because there really isn't, but then I got really quiet and tried to hold back my tears.

The truth is, I'm totally freaking out about being a mother. I haven't been scared or nervous to be pregnant at all. I almost like being pregnant. I'm not scared to go into labor and have the kid, either. But being pregnant and delivering a baby are not the same as having a baby. I can do the first two - I did a great job the first time around. But I chose not to take the baby home and dress her and feed her and bathe her and burp her and get up with her in the night and sooth her when she cries. I gave that responsibility to someone that not only wanted it, but was prepared to do it. All I had to do was heal up real quick-like and drown myself in school and work.

But now, every morning, I wake up and realize that this baby is going to be born in a few weeks and instead of going home with another family, he's going to come home with me and Josh. And we're going to be responsible for everything for him. And that scares me. Then I get worried that Josh isn't as scared as I am.
And then I feel guilty because I'm more scared than excited, like I won't love the baby like I'm supposed to. And then I get worried again when everyone says my motherly instincts will kick in and I'll just 'know' what to do. Because...what if they don't kick in? And it's a whirlwind of emotions that I don't like to have but I can't seem to shake them, and I feel so overwhelmed when I look at all these little clothes and I wonder why it felt like such a good decision when we decided to stop trying to prevent pregnancy.

So, in response to his question, I tell my husband these things and he patiently listens to me and brings me tissues to wipe my cheeks and blow my nose. Then he offers to give me a blessing, and I accept. And even though I cried again today recapping these feelings and events, you need to know that as he used the Priesthood to bless me with strength of spirit and comfort at this time, I felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. It was like He calmed the emotional turmoil that had been consuming me for days. He gave me a sweet, gentle, reminder that I need to spend a little more time on my knees and a little less time in my head.

I am so incredibly grateful for Josh, for his wisdom, and for his worthiness. I don't know how to explain my simple love for him, but he is probably the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. This baby and I are so lucky to have him leading our family.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Baby shower

Well, Josh is sick. It hit him the worst on Friday while he was traveling to and working in Dixie, but he's fallen asleep by 10pm the last couple of nights, and it seems to be helping him recover. I'm also finally on the mend, so hopefully we'll soon be rid of all the sick germs floating around our house.

Saturday morning I woke up at 4:11am to the baby's hiccups and I could not fall back asleep. The hiccups stopped at 4:48am, but I still lay there, wide awake, until well after 5am. My sleepless night left me very tired for my nutrition class Saturday morning and my baby shower that afternoon. Lots of friends and family came to support me. My mom and two sisters even left southern Utah at 8am to make it here on time, then drove back home later that afternoon. So, so, sweet are they!

Even though my energy level was down a bit, I still had a wonderful time. Here's proof:
Getting bigger! Lacie & Paige, 37 weeks pregnant My sweet mother and I

(My silly computer crashed while I was uploading photos, and I don't have them saved on Josh's computer, so I'll have to post more another time.)

Friday, January 11, 2008

All things baby!

My ob appt Wednesday went well. I haven't started dilating yet, the pregnancy is still normal, and I'm still healthy. I've gained 28 pounds so far with this pregnancy, so I'll easily break 30 before I deliver. My doctor is very happy as our (his) goal was 30-35 pounds with this pregnancy. I feel like such a good, obedient patient! I can't help but think that 30 pounds seems a bit excessive, but if the baby is healthy and I don't reach 150, I don't really care. I'll bet most of it is in my breasts, anyway. Ugh.

Last night I put together the baby swing my mother bought
. It was super easy - I did it all by myself!We're purposefully accumulating green items so we can use them again if we have a girl the second time around. Earlier yesterday, I scrubbed down and set up the shelves and crib Hill gave us. I still need to wipe down the mattress and wash the bedding sheet and blanket before it's completely ready. We registered for this crib bedding set but then it went on clearance, so we hurried and bought it before it was sold out. Hey, at least we saved 80 bucks on it.The only other major project to complete before the baby comes is to refinish the dresser. It currently sits in the garage, waiting for Josh to have a free weekend to get it done. It was my mother's mother's dresser, and when my mom inherited it, she painted it white and I used it as a little girl. Now my mother has passed it on to me, but it desperately needs some tlc. The plan is to sand off all the paint, stain it to match a glider a lady gave us, and update the hardware, so it involves a lot of chemicals that I'm not allowed to touch or breathe in as a pregnant woman.

But my dear husband has been so busy with work that I don't want to bother him about it tomorrow. He's in southern Utah working right now - supposed to fly home tonight. He worked in Arizona Monday and Tuesday and when he flew back Tues night, he went straight to McKay-Dee hospital for an overnight upgrade. Well, his part of the upgrade never happened (even after he waited around for seven hours), and he came home and went to bed at 5am. He was up again at 8am, then worked overtime at IMC Wednesday night. Poor guy got up at 5 this morning to make his Dixie flight, and now we're both just praying he'll finish working in time to make his flight home and he won't come down with the cold I've had for the last 11 days.

Anyway, doesn't it seem like it would be cruel and unusual punishment to ask him to refinish a dresser tomorrow? I do. I think I'll send him off to spend a leisurely afternoon with his father while I'm at a baby shower instead.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

We quietly celebrated Josh's birthday with a nice dinner to PF Chang's. He didn't want a cake or family or friends or anyone coming over to make a big deal of it - such a quiet guy. "I just want to go out to dinner, just me and you." is what he said, so that's what we did. It's been a very long time since we treated ourselves to our favorite restaurant, and it was sooo yummy. I tried the "Wild Alaskan Sockeye Salmon Lemon Pepper" this time and absolutely LOVED it. I was hesitant to deviate from my usual lemon chicken, but it was well worth the risk. Josh tried a super-spicy chicken and potato dish on our server's recommendation and was also thrilled with his selection. It was such a pleasant evening out, and Josh said it was the perfect birthday, so I'm calling it a success.

I forgot to ask our server to take our picture, so we rigged this one when we got home: Ugh. Apparently, I'm always wearing this same red shirt when it's time to take pictures, and I never realize how big my breasts are until I see myself in photos. So gross! When Josh gets back from Arizona tonight, I'm going to put on a completely non-red shirt and take a recent belly picture. My stomach has really begun bulging out the last two weeks or so; even people are church have commented on my 'little basketball' and that I 'finally look pregnant.' It's pretty exciting!

I've only four weeks to go now - it's definitely the beginning of the end. I have an appointment with my ob tomorrow, and am actually looking forward to it. It's been three weeks since I last saw him, so I'm sure lots has changed.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Happy Birthday Josh!

And happy Valentine's Day, Father's Day, Anniversary, and Merry Christmas already, too! After giving him this elliptical for his birthday, all gifts are out for the rest of 2008. That goes for me as well. It barely fits in our bedroom, but here is the final product:(Sorry I forgot to take pics of the construction process, Chris. It didn't turn out to be too difficult to assemble. Josh had it finished in about 2.5 hours, with interruptions. And the $4 IKEA tv turner thing is perfect!)

Josh turns 34 today and in exactly four weeks I'll officially be '30-something' but we're not freaking out just yet. You know how it goes... When you're 18, 30 sounds old. When you're 25, 40 sounds old. But by the time you hit 30+, 50 seems fairly young. Even my 60+ parents don't seem 'old.' My parents still go camping, water-ski, ride Harleys, and work full-time, so it might just be that they're not the norm, but they get the senior discount wherever they go, so they're obviously getting up there.

We got to
meet Deidra and see Chris again when we went to dinner with them two nights ago. A good friend of theirs was playing at Gepetto's, and they were kind enough to invite us along. I loved the atmosphere and Bianca's voice, and really enjoyed getting to know Deidra better. They went to the Jazz game that night, then came down to Riverton and spent the night in our spare bedroom. We got to hang out a little yesterday before they headed back to Logan. Let me tell you...Chris is the perfect guy to have around when you forget to pick up a shopping cart at IKEA or need help unloading a 300-pound elliptical from the back of your minivan! It was great having them over and visiting with them.

In the meantime, new beginnings surround me and I'm wondering why I'm not more stressed out. I start a Nutrition class at UVSC tomorrow at 8am, get a HUGE new Primary class Sunday, and we're going to have a baby in about a month. I feel like I should be freaking out right about now, but I'm not. I don't know if that's a good sign that I'm handling my stress well, or a bad sign that I'm dealing with stress by not acknowledging it at all. I guess we'll see. For now, all I can say with certainty is that I'm not looking forward to driving down to Orem tomorrow morning after tonight's snowstorm. Ugh.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Year's recap

We spent New Year's Eve at Don & Holly's this year. We've almost spent more time at Don & Holly's the last few days than our own home because my folks came up Dec 29 for the long weekend. We all got together Saturday night for tacos and a late Christmas party (which really meant my folks brought up the northern Utah kids' and grandkids' presents, as we'd already given them theirs in time for Christmas morning). Anyway, my silly mother was adamant that she wasn't going to spoil anyone this year, then went ahead and did it anyway. She gave us all pajama pants, warm socks, a very generous Costco gift card, and the gift of Mexican Train dominoes - complete with instructions, a sack of plastic 'pennies,' a Double Fifteen Dominoes set, and a hand-painted board to keep everyone's trains on track. It was awesome. My mom is so cute.

My parents came to church with us Sunday morning, then we all trucked back up to Don & Holly's for a Heaps family dinner and games with Isaac & Shama before they went back to Texas. Shama and I pulled out a narrow victory over Josh and Mom at Hand & Foot, then totally bombed a round of Golf, go figure.

We stayed up way too late Saturday and Sunday nights, and my body doesn't know how to sleep in, so I wasn't too surprised that my throat was a little tender yesterday morning when I got up. My doc said some extra Zinc and Vitamin C are safe at this stage of my pregnancy, so I'm hoping to thwart off any illness that may be coming on. I did a little shopping with my mom and Holly
while Josh worked, and got some great deals at Target on their closeout holiday decorations. I also swung by Deseret Book and picked up Our Gift, a super-cute Willow Tree wooden statue of a couple holding their baby. I can't wait to display it in the baby's room when it's all set up. Then my mom surprised me with a swing for an early baby-shower gift - nicey! I feel like we're really moving along on getting things ready for the little guy, and I'm so grateful for all the things we've been given to help us prepare for his arrival.

Josh and I went back up to Don & Holly's to ring in the new year with everyone.
We played plenty more games (of which I only won Mormon Bridge), ate lots of food, and had ourselves a ball. Holly set Hailey's tent up in the living room for a giant slumber party and all the kiddies rang in the new year at 10pm so they could get to bed. Both Maryann and I (the pregnant chicks) were jealous that they got to go to sleep and we had to wait until the real midnight - I started yawning at 9:30pm! But I somehow made it all the way to midnight and gave my Joshey a kiss to welcome 2008. It was a lot more fun than watching Dick Clark in Vegas last year (we were too scared of drunk drivers to go any further than the couch in our living room).