Thursday, September 23, 2010
The bad news is it always leaves me thinking of Grayson and the opportunity cost of me being in this program. I'm not having the best experiences so far this semester and I've noticed it's caused my emotions to run a bit high these last couple of weeks. Josh has been nothing short of amazing this semester so far, and I repaid him with a snippy attitude and short fuse when I got home from school today. Bad wife.
I kissed Grayson tonight as we put him to bed and told him I love him. He responded with, "I love you too." Then he interlaced his fingers in mine and told me, "I love your hand." So innocent, so adorable, so plain and simple, so delightful. I started tearing up. He saw my tears and put his arms around my neck, asking, "You so sad?" His bottom lip began to quiver a bit and I could see how sad he was at the thought of me being sad, and then I really did start to cry. I literally sobbed for about 20 seconds, wrapped in the arms of my tender two-year-old. He held me so tightly, so concerned about me. "Mommy, you crying?" "Why you so sad, Mom?" I honestly didn't want him to let go.
Somehow I was able to compose myself and as I pulled away from him, he worriedly looked into my eyes. I told him I wasn't sad anymore. He asked, "You happy?" because he's smart enough to know that either you're sad or you're happy, period.
So yes, Grayson. I'm happy. You make me happy. I'm happy because you are sweet and silly and brave to the point of stupidity. I'm happy because you're ridiculously smart and healthy. I'm happy because you're so good about eating your dinner and picking up your toys. You have the best facial expressions, and you said "See ya later, sucka" so perfectly to Daddy earlier tonight. I love the way you do monkey face and always know if the stoplight means stop or go. I'm happy because you know I'm Mommy, and Grandma is Grandma, and you correct me when I call her Mom on accident. I'm happy because Miss Amy tells me how nice you are to the other kids and how well you obey her. I'm happy because you're mine and you always will be.
Thanks bud, for making me so happy. And for reminding me why I am.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Maybe there just aren't enough hours in the week for my mom-life AND my school-life. Last weekend I spent about 10 hours studying for a test on Monday. I'll do that again this weekend. And the next. And the next after that. And the next after that one too. Between my classes, I will have at least one test every Monday for the next 12 weeks. Throw in a quiz every Tuesday and Thursday, the fact that I'm away from home (and my son) from 7am to 6pm every Monday through Thursday, and I'm borderline tears. Familial responsibilities consume me as soon as I walk in the door - dinner, dishes, playtime, jammies, brush teeth, storytime, prayers, good night. By 9pm (if I'm lucky enough that Grayson has stayed in his bed), I'm ready for bed myself - not up for pre-treating clothing stains, packing lunches and laying out clothes for the next day, or cracking open a textbook for an hour. I just want to fall into an uninterrupted slumber.
Friday, September 10, 2010
As you can see, the kid's been busy this summer! Grayson also got his first bloody nose July 12 and learned how to open the outside doors this summer. It only took a few popsicles before he knew how to push his own Otter Pops up from the bottom, and he can eat cherries, plums, apricots, etc., and successfully spit out the pits. In the last month he's learned how to propel himself on a little scooter we got for him, and he denounced naps entirely. He also ripped out the bottom of one pair of shorts and I fixed them! This summer was a good one. Can't wait for the next!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Some of the latest funnies to come out of the kid's mouth:
- I not sad, I happy! (when he's in trouble, we tell him "This is so sad" and put him in his room. For the last couple months, as soon as he realizes where we're headed, he cries out, hoping it'll keep him out of his room.)
- You can't reach it. (smiling as he holds something in his hand over his head)
- You big trouble, Mom. (for some reason, Josh is never in big trouble - he's even told me to go to his room and then he's shut the door behind me)
- I not in big trouble. (when we catch him in the act)
- I working here! (when he wants to keep playing instead of whatever he needs to be doing)
- I need popsicle. (he never wants one, he needs it)
- Just stop a minute, k Dad? (when they're wrestling or chasing and Gray wants to get a leg up, he pulls this one on Josh)
- I going now. Bye! (announcing his departure from the room; he even waves as he goes)
- Mom, Mom, Mom, there the ABC's! (he gets so excited when he notices letters on signs and such)
- Um, green. (anytime we ask him what color something is)
Grayson's such a sweet little boy. He's extra big into kisses and hugs right now and will often insist on both when he's leaving, even if it's just to go outside. This morning he kissed me goodbye through the shower door when he left my bathroom. He always makes the kissing sound (mu-wah) when he kisses, and he likes to pull your face toward his using both hands. It's very endearing.
He's also very sensitive. Whenever anyone's crying (child or adult, real or fictional) he gets a worried look on his face and will tell me they are 'so sad' seemingly near tears himself. If they're a real person, he usually walks over to give them a hug and tell them he's so sorry. I love it most of the time, but it gets a little embarrassing when he does it to strangers at church or at the store.