Two nights ago, I stayed up until 1 am reading the Baby Wise book that my sister-in-law lent me but I never bothered picking up before now. I read more than half of it only to discover that Grayson's poor sleeping habits are all my fault. It's also my fault that he essentially snacks all day long and often needs to nurse before he can fall asleep. There are so many things I was supposed to do those first three months of his life and I botched every single one. Bad mommy! If only I'd had the energy or time to read the damn book, I'd have known about them and averted these months and months of suffering!
So, Mr. Ezzo, Dr. Bucknam...what does a perpetually exhausted mother do when she's already screwed up the first year of her son's life? Is he doomed to have ADHD? Do I have to finish the book or is the guilt brought on by the first half of the book sufficient?
If that meltdown doesn't kill you, looking at these eyes and listening to his residual gasps for air definitely will.
PS - On the bright side (or not)...I have no idea if Gray's sleeping through the night because I turned the volume on his monitor all the way down last night and the night before. If he's waking to eat or be comforted, he's figured it out on his own, because we don't hear him anymore. But sadly, I find myself waking up several times throughout the night anyway, thinking I hear him. I instantly check the monitor in a semi-panic, so even though I find he's sleeping just fine, it still takes me a bit to calm down and drift back to sleep. Oh, what I'd give for one, just ONE, night of nine consecutive hours of slumber - no interruptions (myself included). Will that day ever come again?