Thursday, January 29, 2009

All growed up

This afternoon a neighbor girl came over and spent 15 minutes with Grayson and me before I left her in charge of caring for my sweet baby until Josh came home an hour later. Gray was fine - he grinned when she got here and showed her how to hammer his blocks. She was fine, too, and starting talking to and playing with him as soon as she walked through the door.

I was not fine. I was sad. I was sad to see how big he's gotten. So independent. He gave me loves then quickly turned his attention back to Lydia and his toys. How quickly I was forgotten and how heart-breaking it was for me. Grayson was so excited to have someone new to play with he didn't need Ma-ma-ma-ma anymore. I watched him from the doorway for a minute but he didn't notice. So I left for school. I went early so I could stop by the lab and draw pictures of E. coli and Staphylococcus
before my lecture began. I got that done with plenty of time to finish my other lab drawings for next week, and got to lecture with enough time to review what we'd covered last week. I wasn't hurried or stressed out. It was a nice change from constantly running behind after the bi-weekly pass-off with Josh.

My boy's usually asleep when I get home at 9pm, and I loathe the nights I don't get to brush his teeth and read him a story. Tonight was one of those nights, and sadly, Grayson didn't need me to be here in order to fall asleep. I shouldn't be, but I'm disappointed - it's just not the same telling a sleeping baby how much you treasure him. So as much as I needed Lydia to come over and help me out for an hour today, I don't plan on making it a regular occurrence. I need my baby to need me. I can't stand that's he's growing up without me.


*tear*

3 comments:

bechtold clan said...

I know! Ive stopped holding tristan to feed at night- hes too big and just twists and turns and just prefers to be in his bed. so i give him his bottle, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight and leave...(gulp) what happened to out babies?!

superpaige said...

Oh, don't worry. There will never be a time when he doesn't need you. Even though you may want him to stop needing you so much, thank you very much.

familyofthewaves said...

That's so sad when you don't feel "needed" by your child anymore. Daniel goes to kindergarten this year and I just know it's gonna be, "See ya Mom!" But they always want you when it matters. :)