Monday, October 14, 2002

Bill's funeral & I'm crazy

what a weekend it was and this one will be just as crazy. Friday night was so busy, it felt like it was the USG all over again. Saturday a.m. i cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. i really need to get cracking and get some more stuff packed away and moved. i am hoping to find a job this weekend while i'm in SLC. Monday is a holiday for us - the "Harvest Holiday" otherwise known as the deer hunt. oh, funny southern Utah. Bill's funeral was Saturday afternoon, and although it was incredibly long, it was probably the most beautiful service i'll ever attend. every speaker, every song delivered an endearing message. the headache i had after crying for 2 1/2 hours straight was enough to send me to bed for an hour, but i had to head straight off to work instead.

i have never lost someone close to me - not recently, anyway. the last funeral i went to was that of my father's father, back in 1994. i don't really remember anything about it except for two things. 1) it was "good" he passed away because he had been miserable for the last two years since my father's mother had died; and 2) i had one of the worst hangovers a girl could get after a high school graduation party.

i think most of us on xanga are crazy. i found this link on another girl's site.
i took the test.


Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

here's the link to what these things mean:

honestly, i never would have thought the dependent thing about myself. am i really that way? a long time ago, my psychiatrist told me i was minor borderline personality disorder, but it looks like that has changed somewhat. the problem with a test like this is that an individual's answers will change on a daily, even an hourly basis. the way i respond at any given moment will reflect the immediate influence of my emotional, spiritual and physical states. you all understand.

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